[00:00:10] Ellington Brown: Welcome to SpeakUP! International with Rita Burke and Elton Brown! Today we have Phoebe Trotman who is going to read an excerpt from her book. Never Quit On a Bad Day. Challenge Yourself. Change your life. Ms. Trotman, the virtual floor is yours! 

[00:00:33] Phebe Trotman: Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here. Are we just gonna kick off with the challenge right away or how, how are we doing this?

[00:00:41] Rita Burke: How about if we do challenge ourselves? Right away. We, Phoebe. 

[00:00:45] Phebe Trotman: Okay, great. Let's, 

[00:00:46] Rita Burke: You've got lots of activities and challenges in your books and it certainly wouldn't hurt for audience to, to hear what one of those challenges are. 

[00:00:57] Phebe Trotman: Okay, great. So how about we do this? Uh, there's 52 challenges, short challenges in the latest book and the Never Quit On A Bad Day book series, challenge Yourself, change Your Life.

So I'm gonna throw it back to you two as this is your show and I'm gonna ask you to choose a number from one to 52, and then we'll just let that be the activity and challenge for everybody today. 

[00:01:18] Ellington Brown: Rita, 

[00:01:20] Rita Burke: I'll do three. 

[00:01:22] Phebe Trotman: Three. Okay. That's my number three. Okay. Number three is called mindset mantra, and the activity is to create a short and powerful mantra that reflects how you wanna think and show up in the world.

Look at yourself in the mirror and say it out loud with energy and intention. Your mindset mantra is a personal belief you want to embody.. Think of it as a guiding phrase you repeat daily to strengthen your identity and direction. Here are a few examples. I'll just read a couple. I am calm, confident, and capable.

I am resilient and rise with strength and grace. I focus on what I can control. So the idea behind this activity is for someone to create their own, whatever that means. The story really quickly, I won't go into too much detail behind it, was because this was a really big activity for me when I was playing soccer and had a really pivotal moment in my life.

And I decided at that moment that I was going to, I'm an impact player, and all that meant is that any moment of time that I was given on the field, I would make my presence known, felt and seen. And so that has served me well. And so. This activity is really for people to create their own. And so, um, and then I go through kind of how it, how it, how it helps you and how you can grow from it as well too, which is also included in the book.

[00:02:36] Rita Burke: You have just heard the voice of Phoebe Trotman, who is a multi hall of fame athlete and business woman. She is the author of Never Quit On a Bad Day. Phoebe is also a speaker, a coach, and a mentor who is dedicated to helping individuals and the teams to reach their highest potential through intentional action and a champion mindset.

As we say on SpeakUP! International, we prefer for guests tell their own stories, and so I will stop there and welcome Phoebe Truman to SpeakUP! International and say that the stage is yours. Welcome, welcome, welcome! 

[00:03:31] Phebe Trotman: Well, thank you so much for having me today. I am very excited for this conversation and just grateful for the opportunity and honored to be just able to connect with you two.

[00:03:42] Ellington Brown: I think this is going to be of quite the interesting conversation. I, after talking to you, the other day I realized, I had a smile on my face for about half an hour afterwards. I was still smiling. So your infectious personality, I guess, you know, just, just pulled me right in. I, I just enjoyed our conversation, so I'm sure that this is going to be even better than our first conversation.

So your journey, part of it is the Multi Hall Of Fame. How did that shape your life once you won that award? 

[00:04:27] Phebe Trotman: Well, it's, I mean, it's such a, I'm so grateful. I have to say, first of all, to my coaches and my teammates, because being inducted into a Hall of Fame, they started, there was team induction. So some of the Hall of Fames that I'm in is because for the team that I played on, and some of them are also, you know, personal being inducted into, into Hall of Fame.

And it means so much because it's, it is a journey. You said that, right? It is a journey. Things did not always. Work out the way that I wanted them to, in the time that I wanted them to. But the, the beautiful thing of it is when we continue to keep going, we show up, we do the best that we can. It the, the path.

And, and when we look back on it, there's so many pivotal moments and moments where I was frustrated and you know, it was like. Do I wanna keep doing this? And then re-grouping myself, grounding myself, focusing on why I do what I do. And so to be recognized in the way and being inducted into these hall of fame, it just means so much because it really is sort of a testament to all the ups and downs.

A staying consistent, continue continuing to pursue a passion and a love of mine, which is playing soccer with my teammates. And that was just a, um, again, a recognition of like. This is, this is kind of a, um, icing on the cake, if you will, of an already incredible cake because it has been such an amazing journey, 

[00:05:46] Rita Burke: amazing journey.

I can see it radiating through your face that it was an amazing journey. So would you say that the champion mindset came before the challenges? Which came first, the challenges or the mindset? 

[00:06:03] Phebe Trotman: That's a great question. I believe it's they're together. They're in unison. And the reason I say that is because part of what I believe a champion mindset is navigating those challenges and bouncing back up and moving forward when they happen.

And one of the things that I think is so important for, um, to have a champion mindset. To realize that obstacles are part of the journey. They aren't there to stop you. I believe obstacles are there to see how badly you want, whatever you're going after. And also with part of a champion mindset is it's about growing like champions.

Understand that every day isn't gonna be perfect and every, you know, there are gonna be those obstacles. There are gonna be those bumps in the roads, but it's about committing to becoming a little bit better every single day. They continue to adjust. And they continue to keep going. The other thing I really wanna make sure I'm, I say this and share this is when I say champion, I'm not talking necessarily about just champion in the sense of trophies and awards and accolades.

Yes. That is a a, that is a champion as well too. I believe though that every single one of us are the champions of our own lives. We're the champions of our lives because of the choices that we make and how we show up every single day. And so I want people to realize that they are a champion. You're the champion of your life because of the choices that you make.

And every single day we get to choose how do we wanna show up every single day? We can choose and commit to becoming just a little bit better than we were yesterday. And that to me, is what makes us a champion.

[00:07:31] Ellington Brown: So I guess we're gonna have to make up a song titled, Champion! 

[00:07:38] Phebe Trotman: Let's make up an original song. Let's do it! 

[00:07:40] Ellington Brown: Hey, I'm, all for that. And speaking of, champions, all champions, have to learn or be in a position to be open-minded so that they learn. How did you get comfortable with being uncomfortable, which is part of the learning process.

[00:08:03] Phebe Trotman: So, and I, I always say this because I laugh when I say it 'cause people are like, you enjoy to be uncomfortable. It's not a matter of enjoying it, it's a matter of embracing it to realize that it helps us become better versions of ourselves. And so getting used to becoming comfortable, being uncomfortable.

Is something that I embrace because I knew it would help me grow into the person that I wanna be. And again, that comes back to becoming better every single day. And also choosing to put myself in those uncomfortable situations because I know that that growth is gonna serve me well in the long run. So sometimes it's about stretching ourselves.

And there's a quote that I love that, um, Neil Donald Walsh says, "life begins at the edge of your comfort zone". And so knowing that and wanting to create and enjoy an incredible life, it. For me, that means pushing myself just outside of my comfort zone consistently. Because the beautiful thing about that is when you continually push yourself, push yourself outside of your comfort zone, your comfort zone expands.

So right now we, you know, all of us have a comfort zone and just on the outside of the comfort zone is the growth zone. And when we continue to do things in that growth zone. Now our comfort zone is growing, and that to me is a sign that I'm getting personally closer to the goals and dreams that I've set out for myself.

So every time I step into that growth zone, and every time I stretch that comfort zone, I realize I'm doing something that's getting me closer to whatever it is that the goals and dreams that I have for myself. And I wanna encourage, you know, the listeners to think of it that way too. Even when it is uncomfortable, just realize you're taking a step closer to something that you, you really wanna accomplish otherwise.

You wouldn't feel that uncomfortableness you'd already have it if it was, if it was in your comfort zone. 

[00:09:45] Rita Burke: Sounds to me, Phoebe Trotman, as if you are a goal setter and you go after your goals with a passion, at what point in your life did you realize the value, the importance of setting goals? And if you can remember.

Talk to us perhaps about one of the first goals that you set. 

[00:10:11] Phebe Trotman: That's a great thanks for asking that question, Rita. 'cause one of the, the first thing that pops in my mind, and I don't, I don't remember it vividly, but I know it because my dad used to tell me this all the time. And so it was, I was about like four or five and he had to, to move this big dresser and he was gonna wait till one of his friends could come over to help him move it.

And I was like, no dad, I can do it. I can do it. He said, he was like, no. 'cause again, I was, you know, four or five, I was young, and he was like, no, it's okay. I'll wait for Uncle George to come over and he can help me move it. I'm like, no, dad. I can do it. I can do it. And he just said the look in my eyes, he realized that.

I was like, I can do this. Like let's do this together. And so we ended up doing it. I helped him and we moved it and he said that afterwards. I looked at him and I just said, see, we did it now. And he said that he actually wrote that on a card that we had up in a, a home office. So growing up it was always on this, this board and just said, see, we did it now and it had a date, and I wish I still had that card because it, you know, and I grew up hearing that story because my dad said, he's like, you've always been a person that when you set your mind to doing something.

You do it and when you commit to it. And so having that story told back to me over and over again, it just instilled a belief in myself that I can do those things. And yes, sometimes it's doing it with someone else because I did that with my dad. It's not always, you know, I am such a big believer in team and doing things with other people to achieve our goals because I believe we can accomplish them faster.

But also reminding my. Self that when I set my sights on something, as long as I continue to keep going forward, it can happen.

[00:11:48] Ellington Brown: One thing I can say for sure is that you have a positive attitude. I can't even imagine you not waking up with that. And, and I'm using this word affectionately, Pollyanna spirit, you know, every, you know, every day I don't care how bad it is, I'm gonna find the sunshine. Uh, and you, you are to, you are to be complimented for that. It's a, that's a beautiful, gift and you've had an opportunity to show it more than once to the world. So I think that's absolutely wonderful Soccer. So she's the soccer lady and being the soccer lady, you had to learn a lot of skills, a lot of skills, and a lot of sleepless nights, Lord knows.

What else? How were you able to take and what skills were you able to take with you and use in your everyday life? 

[00:12:55] Phebe Trotman: Well, soccer, I believe sports in general is such a great learning ground for life because there are so many lessons that you learn and navigate through as an athlete that transfer over to everyday life in, in all capacities.

And I mean, the biggest one that pops out in my mind is resilience. Because there are so many moments that in soccer things didn't go the way that I wanted them to go. You know, one of the stories I share in one of the other books in the series, I talk about when I didn't make a team and how def and I just even talking about it, thinking back to that moment, how much I cried and cried and cried my eyes out because I was devastated and my parents used, you know, as much as back then, I didn't wanna hear it.

It was such a, again, also pivotal and learning experiences. My parents taught me to control the controllables. They didn't say it in those words. They said, focus on what you can control. The coach's decision's done. What can, we're not changing the coach's decision. The decision, the decision's been made.

But what you can do is you can focus on what you can control, which is my work ethic, my discipline, my commitment, my attitude. And that served me well in terms of the lesson about controlling the controllables, because there's so many things that are outside of our control, and that's one of the things you.

Talk about how I wake up with, you know, a Pollyanna attitude and, and trust me, there are many things and many challenges that I'm navigating even right now. However, I focus on what I can control, that's why I can wake up with a smile on my face and be grateful because there are the things that I'm focusing on that are within my control.

Which is my mindset. How do I wanna show up in the world my attitude and reminding myself that the things that are outside of my control, when I focus on when I can, that just frees up so much energy because I think so many times, and, and I had to learn this through life, there's so many times that I'm focusing on things that are outside of my control.

That's exhausting because there, it, it drains your mental energy. That's when oftentimes, you know, I would get frustrated because I wasn't focusing on me. I was focusing on, well. That person said that. Okay, well, yes they did. That's true. What can I control? I can control my response to it. I can control how I let that, do, I let that impact me.

And so that's has, has helped me and served me well throughout life. And in terms of the sport, you know, whether it's discipline, commitment, showing up and, and going to practices, even on the days when it was raining, cold, and I didn't feel like going. But showing up because I was focusing on the why of I'm, what I'm doing and my goals, and that continued.

And I believe that's so important. And why I am a goal setter is because I find like having a goal to focus on, it helps me navigate through those obstacles because now when I can refocus on that and when motivation might fade, having a goal, give me something to keep walking towards. 

[00:15:47] Rita Burke: Sounds to me as if your parents.

Along with parenting, they coached, and today you are a coach of individuals and teams. So this brings me to a question that I'd like to ask is, what's the best piece of advice that you've ever been given? I know you talked about controlling the control books. What would you say is the best piece of advice you have ever received or been given?

[00:16:16] Phebe Trotman: So definitely control the controllables would be top of in that area, the top list for sure. Absolutely. The other thing I would say is to be the best me that I can be and what does that look like? So be the best Phoebe Trotman that I can be, because that's, again, it ties to control the controllables in terms of I can control that.

I can control my attitude, my mindset, how my response to situations that happen. And so my parents just really encouraged me every single day, just be the best. You focus on that on this moment right here, because I do think I'm naturally a person who focuses ahead and it's like, well, I want that goal.

And even just this morning I had to remind myself that to just pause and be grateful for where I am right now. Yes, I'm pursuing some goals and working towards 'em and, and I know they will happen with consistency and time. That being said, I'm a person who like, I want it now. And I had to remind myself, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Like I coach people on celebrating the small wins along the journey to the big wins and I, that even slipped my mind and I had to, I paused and went, wait a second. There's, I, I, there's so much right now. I can just be celebrate. So let me celebrate that. While I'm working towards it. So definitely control the controllables and really being the best me that I can be every single day is some of the best advice.

Because the other piece, which I just wanna touch on, this was so important for a lesson as an athlete because I did find, um, I was getting caught up in other players and how great other players are, and they absolutely are. And it was a reminder, but hold on a second. I'm on this team for a reason. And I share this with a lot of athletes that I coach, is like, you're here for a reason, so don't focus on someone else.

Again, be the best you can be. What are your strengths that you bring to the team that are uniquely yours and work on being the best of that that you can be. And when we all work on being the best that we can be, then, and we have a common goal, that's where magic happens. 

[00:18:15] Ellington Brown: Absolutely! And one thing that generates magic is a word that you've used several times and that's teamwork. How did teamwork in sports prepare you for success, in, business and mentorship? 

[00:18:39] Phebe Trotman: Teamwork. Well, in the sense of of team culture, I've been so fortunate that I've played on incredible teams with exceptional team culture, uh, that some that has come from the coach themselves, some that was created within the players and, and a mix of both.

And so taking those experiences. Some that, uh, were the positive, some team culture that wasn't necessarily the, it, it was a great learning experience, let's call it that. And taking those into creating a positive environment. And that transferred into business in the sense of creating a positive team culture.

And one of the ways to do that, it, it ties back to making sure your team knows that. They bring unique strengths to the team. They're there for a reason. And the more that I think we can recognize people on the team, and this applies to sports, this applies to business, this applies to, uh, career, work environments, and even family environments.

When we can recognize everyone's unique strengths, pour into that, appreciate that. Let them know they're there for a reason, and to find out, well, what are their individual goals and how can the indi their individual goals tie into the teams? Greater goal in sports. Okay. The greater goal is, is a national championship or you know, championship at the highest level.

Well, okay, we're all working towards that. How can our individual goals, making sure that those contribute to that. Team goal, and I brought that over into the business world when I was building, um, an online business as there were people joining from, for all different reasons, finding out, well, what is your goal?

For example, like, what's your goal, Elton? Okay, great. What's your goal, Rita? Okay, great. Well, how can we work together to help you accomplish your goals? And that will help the overall team accomplish the bigger goal as well too.

[00:20:20] Rita Burke: It's interesting that you talk about goals so much because in real life, in real life, and I'm sure you're aware of this, and you meet many people who set their goals. But their behaviors don't align with where they're going, where you going, whether it's professional, whether it's career wise, whether it's personal.

They set their goals. I want to let, let's go for an easy one. I want to lose five pounds in three months. And their behaviors don't demonstrate that. That's what the goal is. How do we get people to change their minds about those goals? 

[00:21:00] Phebe Trotman: Well, I think one of the things is oftentimes we, and I do this myself, I, I am calling myself out too, is often we look at, okay, the three months, there's actually my, sorry, a couple things are popping up in my mind.

So number one, we look at, okay, well I have three months to do it. Five pounds. Okay, well. Now start that tomorrow. And there's this sense of like, well, I have plenty of time to do it. Plenty of time. Three months, five pounds, eh, easy. Instead of realizing that, start today, and again, this goes back to when, today, what can you do today that is going to help you with that overall goal?

Yes, you have three months to do it. However, it's the little small wins that. As you continue to stack them, that creates the big win. So if, and it's breaking that down, what does it look like to lose five pounds? Well, water, are you drinking enough water? Win that today. Whatever your water goal is, win it today.

Are you exercising? Whatever that looks like for every different person. Are you doing something to move your body, today. So starting and focusing on today, because I do think too, when we think we have all this time, we're like, well, I'll start later. I'll start later. I'll start later. And it's like, well, let's start today and celebrate today, and then tomorrow wake up, repeat the process, do it again.

Win the day by water, exercise, whatever, nutrition, all, all the components, doing that and celebrating that. The other thing I would say with that is. Again, calling myself out 'cause I'm human and we do this, we're all growing and learning is that when we, let's say a day happens and you don't do those things, the check marks, and it comes down to breaking that goal into what are, you know, the tasks to help you accomplish it.

And let's say the day comes and you go to close your eyes and you're like, oh, I didn't drink my water. And then. Two things. Get up, drink a glass, do something so you can close your eyes, because I believe truly that before you close your eyes every night, be like, yes, I did something to take me closer to my goals.

And secondly, release it. You're human. Because also, I think what we do is we beat ourselves up and we sit in the zone of like, oh, well I didn't, I didn't, you know, I didn't get all the steps in. Oh, that's it. And then we just fall off the wagon. Okay, you didn't, how can we reframe that? How can we learn from that?

Maybe we need to put some more structures in place to make sure that we are prioritizing the water, the movement, the nutrition. Maybe we, maybe it's now, okay, you know what? I didn't hit it. The today. Maybe I do need to, I didn't hit it tomorrow. Okay. Maybe I need to hire a coach. Maybe they need some accountability.

So really understanding that and putting those structures and systems in place to help you, but also realize that you're human. It's okay. If you didn't hit that mark that day, let it go. Wake up tomorrow. It's a new day and refocus.

[00:23:50] Ellington Brown: You gave a lot of advice a few seconds ago, and would you say that it falls, those things fall under the never quit on a bad day? Would that be that type of philosophy that you're giving us right now? 

[00:24:09] Phebe Trotman: It is, absolutely. Because part of what I feel happens oftentimes is.

We quit things, uh, on those bad days And bad is relative, I'm gonna say that as well. Bad is very relative. It, it really, everyone has their own version of bad and what I see as bad, someone else might not and vice versa. But yes, I feel like what never quit on a bad day is all about, is not making those permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.

And the example I, we just talked about in terms of losing the five pounds in three months, it's. Okay, so one day might not have gone the way that you initially set out for it to be. That's okay. That doesn't mean drop the whole goal. It just means going, okay. That didn't go as well as I planned. What can I learn from it?

Because I'm a big believer in learning from, from our obstacles, learning from our bumps in the road, learning from it, and then choosing how do you respond to it so it didn't go your way. Choose how you're gonna respond to it. What can you control? And those are all things that are all under. Never quit on a bad day because when we look at control, the controllables, well, how can you, and then.

Accountability, setting yourself up for success, realizing that obstacles are part of the journey, and that's okay. They're not there to stop you. An obstacle doesn't have to be a stop sign. It can be a, and when I say stop sign, it is, it could be a stop, but it's not a don't keep going. It might just be a little bit of a moment to go, okay, how badly do I want this?

And going back to why did you start in the first place? Because if we go back to the example of the five pounds in three months. Why are you doing that? What is the reason behind it? Because when you find a true why, that will drive you to continue to do it and to regroup and refocus and it'll keep you on that track when you have a strong enough why.

And I think that's a big piece of it too, is really finding and when you're setting a goal will really break it down. Why do you want this goal? How badly do you want it? Why? Why is it important to you? Because when you can uncover that, that will fuel you. On the days when you don't feel like doing something.

When you revisit that, why that will keep you going as well too. 

[00:26:19] Rita Burke: We're talking with

Sports Hall of Fame woman, an athlete and a businesswoman who currently lives in British Columbia. Um, on SpeakUP! International. We speak, we seek to inform, inspire and educate and Phoebe your story to know. There's no doubt that it's doing that for us today. We talked to lot. We've been talking about some very important points.

I could think of statements such as you are here for a reason. Control the controllable. Start with the small. You also talked about being your best self. Tell us what the best, your best self looks like, feels like. What's your best self? 

[00:27:19] Phebe Trotman: Every day it's, it's getting a little bit better, right? In my, for me, one of my life missions is the people that I am blessed to encounter.

How can I help add value to their life? And it might just be a smile, it might be a conversation, it might be sharing a story of something I've experienced to help them to pull out a lesson out of it. So I'm a big believer in continuing to learn and grow. And I love, I'm definitely a lifelong learner. I love leadership and personal development, and because of that, and it's served me so well because I have had some very, very tough situations to navigate through.

And when I say that, I mean in terms of like both my parents have passed and, and both those. Experiences were some of the hardest, and I'm still navigating, um, that journey because it, it is, it's a very hard one. And, and I've lost a lot of loved ones and dreams that didn't happen in the time that I want.

It's just, it's an ongoing process. And, and so for me. Part of it is how do I, how have I learned from those, how have I grown from those? And just wanting to be able to share how did I navigate and how am I continuing to navigate those? And so for me, being the best Phoebe that I can be, it's just, it's continuing to show up.

It's continuing to show up. With a smile. Not to say that everything is great because there are some very tough things again that I shared. I'm navigating right now, not to say everything's great, but I'm choosing still to find something that I can smile about. Even though there's a lot of other factors that I, I wouldn't smile about them that are happening right now 'cause they're, they're very hard.

But I can still some find something to smile about and that's when I, when, so I'm smiling authentically. Not to say everything's great, but to say that there are still great things happening.

[00:29:08] Ellington Brown: When all of these things happen to us, and I think everyone can remember a time when someone that was very dear to them left and you feel like a gutted fish when these things, happened.

So from your book, what practical tools. Can someone use to push through these difficult moments and without giving you know, the ultimate secret, but, uh, how? 

[00:29:49] Phebe Trotman: Well, first I would say, uh, I understand and you're not alone, number one. 'cause I think it's so important to, for, for all of us to remember, we're not alone in our struggles.

Even though someone's struggle might not be the exact same as yours. A struggle is a struggle for, and it's a personal one. And so, um, I always like to make sure people understand you are not alone. And the reason part of. To answer that question, the reason that these books exist and the reason that I felt on my heart to, to write them was to share some of that because how do you navigate through those tough times and those challenges and, and in the books there's different stories and suggestions and ways you can, and I just shared that everyone needs to find what works best for them.

But in, in, to answer your question, one of the ways that has worked, um, for myself, and it has been an ongoing process, and that is really gratitude, and I've had gratitude kind of exercise that I've done for years. This is even before, um, losing my dad. And it was, it started off from more from a business perspective where every single, like I said, an alarm in my phone, so at 9:10 PM Pacific.

Every single day it goes off and it says, I'm so happy and grateful that, and I started that because at the time I was frustrated with my business. Things weren't going the way as fast as I wanted it to do and all, all the stuff. And I started it as a so that every single day it would just pop up and I'd take a minute.

Sometimes it would be longer, sometimes it'd be super short depending where I am. And I would just answer that question. Sometimes it'd be one thing. Sometimes it'd be multiple things. Doing that consistently. Then I started, I just realized it was happening more and more. And so throughout the process of with my dad, my dad was, um.

I diagnosed with cancer and, and gut wrenching time in my life. And it was, it's still very challenging to talk about, even it's been 14 years, but it just is, uh, my dad was my best friend. And so finding something and being, and so grateful for my mom and my family that we went through this together. And again, that's why I say you're not alone.

Find people who love you and that can support you through it. And in, and having a gratitude practice. Even on the days where I was not feeling grateful where I was. Very upset, very frustrated. But having that kind of pop up, it shocked me to go, what am I grateful for? In this moment, I'm not really that grateful because I was angry, I was very upset and, and all the things.

However, I could find something and sometimes it was like, I'm grateful 'cause my mom's here. My mom, my mom and I are going through my brother, my, you know, my extended family and just, and my health that I'm healthy, you know, just finding something to hold onto. And now gratitude is such a big part of my life.

Um, with just, again, losing other family members, navigating, I was grateful to be the caregiver for my mom. Um, and that was a very hard, hard season. That being said, there were moments. That I could hold onto, and so I just encourage people, find something you can be grateful for. It can just be that you're hearing our voices right now.

That can be what someone holds onto because I do understand when things are rough and low and you feel like everything is just on your like shoulders and you feel like everything's coming down on you. There's still something that you can hold onto. And again, sometimes it's the smallest thing and sometimes for me, I had to find the smallest thing to hold onto and that kept me going one more day, find something else the next day.

[00:33:19] Rita Burke: Powerful statements, you're not alone. I understand. It really helps you to get into that person's space, to be able to work with them and to guide them and to direct them. Phoebe, you are, were an athlete. Talk to us about what started that journey and when did that journey start for you? 

[00:33:48] Phebe Trotman: Yeah, so I started playing soccer when I was five years old.

Uh, my old, I have an older brother, he's four years older, and he was playing and I was kind of the little sister that, you know, had went along with my parents to his games and and whatnot. And so I, I really wish I, I knew if I said to my parents, Hey, I wanna play soccer, or if they. Actually, it wouldn't have been my mom, it would've been my dad.

So, or if my dad just said, well, we're putting you in. I, I wish I had had them to ask that question. I'm not really sure how that happened, but I do know, um, my older brother played and it was something that, you know, I was kind of like put into and, and I loved it. I loved to compete. I also have older cousins.

Older male cousins too, especially who we all were together a lot. And so I was the youngest, I was the only girl. And so it was like rough and tumble and I wanted to win. I wanted to beat them. And so, you know, it just kind of having where this competitiveness came out and then it's just carried me right through.

And so I always, I joke and I say, well, part of the reason I play like I play in terms of the toughness. Older brother, older boy cousins. It, it kind of just happened. He had to, and they, they were definitely not the ones who were gonna be like, well, she's a girl and she's younger. Take it easy on her. They were like, if you wanna play, you're playing by our rules.

And so I adjusted and, and here we are now.

[00:35:05] Ellington Brown: So I guess it's kinda like living or die by the sword. You, you play the way they want, or you, you don't, but how do you. Deal with sharing challenges through your own personal stories and your own personal growth? How do you use that to help people that are. They're doing everything that they think they can possibly do in order to at least be on the path to get to what it is that they want and what, and for whatever hap, whatever's the problem, God help 'em.

It's just not happening. How do you turn that around? 

[00:35:56] Phebe Trotman: I think, well, I would just say that, you know, I don't, I, one thing, I mean sharing challenges, it's a process and I definitely was not able to say anything about some of the stuff that I navigated with my dad for years. I, it wasn't even able to articulate it without.

Breaking down in tears. Um, so I think part of it is with, uh, like you sharing when you feel and, and depending sharing with people that you feel safe to share what you're going through. Number one is, and that's why I'm so a big believer in being intentional about the people that you surround yourself with.

Surround finding a great community of people if you, you know, find your chosen family, if that's the way the situation is, or if you have family members. Create a circle of strength so that you can pour into it when things are good, so that when things are challenging, you have that, those people that can pour back into you.

And what I would say to someone is just again, focus on a small step forward. Oftentimes I feel like we feel like, well, I wanna change everything and I, you know, I wanna be this brand new person. Okay, great. However, start with something small. It's those small cha, like those small growth moments that over time again, compound into that transformation.

Who people see today is because of years and years and years of investing in myself, reading books, attending conferences, learning from people older than me, their wisdom that they were kind enough to share with me. So it's not a, it's a process. It's, it's such a process. And I think it, the other part, if we circle back to champion mindset is champions enjoy the process.

They realize that it's transformation doesn't happen. Overnight. I know we are. We love microwaves. We love social. We love being able to pull up our phone and find everything instantaneously. That being said, the growth journey isn't something that's instantaneous, so celebrate the wins along the way and find one little thing that you can start to do to move the needle.

And we can go back to like, you know, a major ship. Like if you're going in one direction, it's not just gonna change in like in an instant. It's, you know, gradually starting to like change cheer, turn the steering wheel a little bit and start to move a little bit over here and continue and then continue.

And so I just encourage people to find. Something small that they can, they can do that'll cont that'll start them on their process. And that's literally, I mean, we started this off by reading one of the CHA activities and challenges in the book. That's why the book is the way it is. It's 52 super short ones like creating a mindset mantra that can take.

A minute. Really. You can Google one if you, if you're not wanting to create your own, you can Google it. There's examples in the book. But now if we repeat that over and over and over again and we start to act in that way, we start to do things that support that mindset mantra. Eventually over time. Now you stack that with another activity from the book and another one, and another one and another one.

Then you'll start to see that transformation. So start small and celebrate that small step.

[00:38:58] Rita Burke: That statement their growth journey is indeed a journey. Doesn't happen instantaneously, and I guess it's a good philosophy. It seems simple, but it's not that easy, is it? I'm sure you found that. So you are also a speaker, Phoebe. Let's imagine, let's suppose you are asked to address a group of women who are entrepreneurs, business women.

What three important points would you want to leave at these women about going into business? What three points would you want to. 

[00:39:45] Phebe Trotman: I would say number one, set goals, set goals for yourself along your way with your business, whatever that looks like. And when I say set goals, break it down. Like one of the things that I did for years, and it's funny, I have it like right here 'cause I, I started again, um, is index cards.

And what I would do every single month, I would put the month and the year at the top and I would pick three goals for that month. Now. In saying that I'd have my annual goal, like what is my big goal? And then I would work backwards into breaking it down and I'd pick those three goals for the month, and then I'd break it down into activities.

What are weekly activities to hit the goal? What are daily activities to hit the goal? And so the reason I say that is when you have those goals, again, it gives you something to focus on and to move towards. The second thing that ties into the goals is celebrate the, the activity and the process, not necessarily the outcome right away.

And the reason I say that is 'cause again, I'm that person who wants to hit everything right away. And sometimes even though we set a goal, it may not. How do I explain this? It might not happen in that timeframe. Like some of the goals I would set didn't necessarily happen in the month that I set it in.

However, I could celebrate the activity. So as long as I can did what I had set as my activity for that day or for that week, as long as I did that, that's what I would celebrate. Not necessarily hitting that goal right away in that month because. Sometimes it didn't happen again, focusing on what I could control, which was my activity, and so I would say that would be the second piece is to celebrate the activities that you're doing as long as you're doing the right activities to take you closer to your goals.

The other thing I would say is either third point. Would be to maybe hire coach. If you're in a position to do that, find someone who has walked the path that you want to walk on, who can support you. If you're not in a financial position to hire coach, it's, it's one of the best investments that you can make.

But if you're not there yet, find a community. And so if I'm talking to a group of women right now in this and they're there, I'm gonna say find someone else who is in a similar situation as you working towards same goals as you, that you can partner up to be your accountability partner because, and hold your accountability partner.

Hold them to a high standard. Also deliver on that high standard because it starts with you first. So make sure that you are finding someone who is gonna hold you to that high standard, especially if you're serious about being an entrepreneur, because it's not easy, it's not an easy road. There's gonna be those obstacles, there's gonna be those bumps.

Know that going in. And find your why. Why are, why do you wanna be an entrepreneur? Because that why has to be so strong to carry you through those, those values. 'cause they, they will come and just know they will come. However, if you keep going through them, the person you will grow into is again, the best version of yourself.

You'll continue to grow and learn.

[00:42:39] Ellington Brown: I want to thank you, so much for having a conversation with us today. I've enjoyed both conversations. Both of them, have left me with a smile on my face. See, I'm still smiling. I can't seem to get this to go away. We've talked today to an entrepreneur. She's an author, bestselling author by the away, an athlete, fame athlete, and she's really dedicating her life to helping individuals.

And teams reach their highest potential, and she's gonna do that with the amount of energy that she's pushing at this very moment. The individuals that she's mentoring or going to mentor, they have no choice. They'll, they're just going to absolutely turn out to be wonderful people because of her competitive spirit and never quitting attitude.

Because of that, she has, uh, the fame of being recognized in the Hall of Fame multiple times. So anyone can do this if they have the right mindset. And it's all about tweaking things into smaller pieces as opposed to something that you and I have. I want it now. You realize, okay, you can't have it. It's 40 steps.

You can't do it all in one day. But the best part about all of this is that having the positive attitude and keeping that will allow you to move forward. It will allow you to be unbreakable. Rita, do you have anything you wanna add to that?

[00:44:35] Rita Burke: I wanna thank, uh, Phoebe. For a remarkable conversation, you, I will say that you light up my life with your story because I see the North Star as you speak. I see the North Star and it seems to me as if you constantly aiming for that North star and you take the people you work with in the groups. Work with towards that North Star in a very gentle and loving and kind and compassionate way, and for those tips on life.

I see. Thank you. Thank you. Thank. 

[00:45:17] Phebe Trotman: Thank you both so much. Uh, your kind words mean so much and I really just wanna say thank you for having me on your show and just thank you for sharing because I think it's so powerful when there are these platforms that can continue to help people and encourage people and just inspire people.

So thank you because I know it takes a lot of time and energy to, to have a podcast and a show, and so thank you both for, for doing that because I appreciate it a lot. 

[00:45:44] Ellington Brown: Thank you for tuning in to SpeakUP! International! 

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