[00:00:00] Kem Frasier: Welcome to SpeakUP! International with Rita Burke and Elton Brown!

[00:00:18] Rita Burke: Today we have the good fortune, the pleasure of chatting with Kem Frasier, who is the author. Chandler the handler. Kem is a former teacher and currently a writer and professional counselor. Anti-bullying is her cause, primarily because growing up in the Bronx she was bullied. This is the second time around.

Did we have the pleasure of having a chat with Kem on SpeakUP! International? And, uh, during our conversation she will explain why this is happening. 'cause lots of new things have happened in her life since we last had our conversation. So welcome to SpeakUP! International. Kem Fraser, we are more than delighted to have European.

[00:01:17] Kem Frasier: Well, thank you and I'm happy to be here!

It's been a while, but I'm very happy to be here! 

[00:01:22] Ellington Brown: I know it has been a while, but I'm glad that you remembered us and decided to come back. I think since the last time that we spoke, your short film, Chandler. Has earned several awards, and we'll get into all of that when we, get into our conversation.

And also, that journey continues when it comes to the Chandler, documentary. So let's get started! 

[00:01:51] Rita Burke: Okay. 

[00:01:52] Ellington Brown: Winning Best screenplay at the night of Short Film Festival. Now, how did that moment affirm that your voice deserved to be heard on the larger stage? 

 When I think of, uh, filming Chandler, my first film, uh, of the 17-year-old in the Bronx at PS 14, I think of a reality, I think of, uh, it's timeless because that same type of bullying is going, is all over the world to some degree. 

So this award just validated the fact that this is on the minds of many people. People are still suffering from the effects of being bullied, and we see it in the national, national, uh, area as well as international and something that we need to keep in the forefront. So that award just validated as I stated.

The fact that this is a real issue. 

[00:02:57] Rita Burke: Yes, Kam Fraser bullying is a real issue. When I hear the word children come to mind, but I know it's not just children who bully each other. Do you want to talk a little bit about that, please? 

[00:03:14] Kem Frasier: Yeah. Because children only know what they see in here in the family unit.

So if they see and hear their parents or any adult solve problems by fighting or, uh, intimidating one another with, uh, threats when they're faced with that same type of environment or situation, they will act accordingly because unfortunately, that negative behavior becomes learned behavior. So it becomes normal for them to retaliate and to bully other people, to build self-esteem, to make themselves feel known.

Uh, sometimes it comes from families that just abandon their children. Mentally and emotionally. So they're starving for tension, even negative attention. So that's a sad situation there. 

[00:04:12] Ellington Brown: Talk to us about, uh, MIP Junior and MIP com. 

[00:04:20] Kem Frasier: Those were two events festivals that I attended in October, and it was held in these Con France rather.

It was exciting. It was my first festival that I, I attended lots of different buyers, co production, uh, co-production, production agents. Um, there's a lot of, um, collaboration between different companies, and this is international companies, you know, Japan. Tokyo different, different nationalities were there promoting their particular artistry as well.

And I was able to connect with several different, um, producers from Germany, from India, just from different lands. It was exciting. It was eight days of just nothing but looking at films, talking about your film, producing it, uh, putting it in front of other, uh, partners or prospects, and, um, I thought it was a valuable, valuable event.

Yes! 

[00:05:30] Rita Burke: So while you were there, did you have to pitch your thing? 

[00:05:36] Kem Frasier: Yes, yes. My co-producer, she pitched it as well. Um, we pitched all the films that I produced, which was only Chandler, and Life gave me a twist. That's the one that's coming up the graphical documentary. But Chandler is being the script for Chandler's being written as we speak for feature film that we'll do in New York as well.

That's exciting because we extend the 17-year-old Chandler into a real story, a story that has substance, a story that, that, uh, relates to every child out there. All children feel intimidated by someone that bullies them. And it doesn't have to be a physical type, um, conduct. It could be a look, it could just be something that intimidates makes the other person feel inferior.

That's what bullies do because they feel inferior.

[00:06:36] Ellington Brown: My question is, how do you remain authentic? I'm sure that there are people out there that they see your work, and of course they've got hundreds of ideas, you know, to make it better. So how do you stay true to your authentic voice? 

[00:06:59] Kem Frasier: Well, it, it could be challenging because also what, what I'm competing with is movies and stories that have a different type of setting.

Some of it is violent. You know, we got, we got, uh, social media, you have some of the violence there, or chat rooms that are, uh, igniting children or young people to do things that are not good. So I'm, I'm actually being challenged by those kinds of situations, but I feel like the whole world is begging for change, you know, if we don't put something in front of them.

They wouldn't know that they, it exists, so we don't, we're not trying to take away the other movies or, or channels or, or stories. We are trying to give people a choice, a choice to look at what is real, what's going on. Something that they could fix. They could do something about this, but if, if nothing but violence is in front of them, it becomes acceptable.

And that's what I don't want, I don't want people to accept violence. I want them to have a choice. 

[00:08:15] Rita Burke: Of course, if, if they see violence, violence, violence, it becomes a, it's perceived as normal now. 

[00:08:20] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm. 

[00:08:21] Rita Burke: Violence. 

[00:08:22] Kem Frasier: Exactly. 

[00:08:23] Rita Burke: But Kem I had a situation a few years ago where I was working with a woman. 

[00:08:29] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm.

[00:08:30] Rita Burke: And I felt that she was a bit of a micromanager. I felt she was wanting me to do things that I didn't want to do. 

[00:08:41] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm. 

[00:08:43] Rita Burke: And I felt bullied. And I said to her for politely, uh, you are bullying me. I feel bullied. And she says, I'm not bullying. You are not bullying you. Do you think bullies ever admit to being bullied?

[00:09:00] Kem Frasier: I don't think they could admit it because they don't know what bullying is. Because it's normal to them. They don't see it as bullying. They see it as just as the way they work out problems. This is the way they communicate and it's an accepted form of communication for them. That's what their norm is.

So they don't see bullying as what it is intimidating someone else. They won't even apologize for it 'cause they don't see the issue. They don't see what's wrong. It, that's, that's the scary part because it becomes part of their makeup. And when that happens, it's very difficult to undo what's already done.

And that's what Chandler's trying to do on a global scale, undo all the, uh, learned behaviors that were incorrect, that lead to violence and leads to unhappiness in the population. Especially with kids.

[00:10:03] Ellington Brown: I've been to Malaysia. Malaysia is absolutely, uh, beautiful. A little hot and sticky, but hey, if I, if I had a choice, I would be, I would be in the hot and sticky. So, alright. Now you're in a different country, so what voices or perspectives. Do you hope this location will allow you to elevate? 

[00:10:33] Kem Frasier: Well, in Malaysia, the, there's, it's the wildlife, it's the animal world that have different personalities, different animals have different personalities.

We're trying to equate the di the similarities between certain types of animals and their character. With certain kinds of char uh, personalities that humans have, that children have, you know, how do these animals get along simultaneously together in the wildlife? What makes it such a community of animals or community of existence, whatever it does, whatever they're doing, whatever personality traits they are portraying.

Humans could portray those strengths as well and see the benefit of it when they see the animals getting along in the wildlife. Not fighting over food, but sharing food, not trying to hurt one another, but care for one another. We're trying to get children to adapt those types of personalities. 

[00:11:41] Rita Burke: That is truly fascinating that you're looking at the model of how wildlife.

Get on with each other, which is very organic. And try and see if you could get children to look at that and to copy some of that. But here, here's a little story that I think it's very funny. I was looking through my window one day and there was a bird on the ground and then a cat came around and I'm watching, and guess what the silly cat tries to do?

The silly cat tries to catch the bird, and guess what the bird did? It wouldn't even normally fly away. And the poor cat is mesmerized. Why are you running for me? Why? So anyway, you were bullied as a child. You grew up in the Bronx. Yes. Talk a little bit about that experience. 

[00:12:42] Kem Frasier: Well, I felt. Bullied. When bullied.

There was, uh, a group of Spanish Puerto Rican girls who came at me. They were coming my way, but they were speaking Spanish. I don't understand Spanish, so I could feel the intimidation just the way their body language performed to as they were running toward me. So the only thing I could do is act like I was having an epileptic attack.

In order to scare them off. And it did, it worked. They thought I was, you know, the crazy one. So it was, it did the trick. But you know, there's other measures you could use today, but forethoughts, you need to have forethought and, and I did that on the spur of the moment because I was thinking about my safety.

Yeah. 

[00:13:38] Ellington Brown: So what tools can one used to ward off Bullyism? 

[00:13:48] Kem Frasier: Say that again? 

[00:13:49] Ellington Brown: I said, what can we do, or what tools do you provide to help ward off Bullyism? 

[00:14:00] Kem Frasier: Give them what they don't expect. A bully expects retaliation instead, just like what Chandler does. He advice them to a basketball game. So what we want to do is kind of kill them with kindness, something they're not used to, and they won't accept it right away, but if you practice that, it'll soften them because they're human beings just like us.

You know? Enough of the good takes away the bad.

[00:14:33] Rita Burke: Most of the time, enough of the good will take away the bad most of the time. Not sure all of the time, because yeah, there's some people who are relentless in the way we want to go. 

[00:14:47] Kem Frasier: That is true. That is true. 

[00:14:50] Rita Burke: Kem Fraser in another life. Before life. You were an educator, you were a teacher. 

[00:14:58] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm. 

[00:14:59] Rita Burke: I want to hear about that experience.

Please. 

[00:15:02] Kem Frasier: What a wonderful experience it was. I love teaching because I love to see minds grow. I love to see children become independent in their own thoughts and their own thinking. I like to see them have goals and aspirations that they can fulfill just by working hard. And so it, it was a joy actually teaching.

I taught from kindergarten to 12th grade. Um, I loved every bit of it, um, because I felt like I was helping to shake their own minds into something positive.

But on the other hand too, it also helped me to develop Chandler because I noticed that when there was difficulties between students, the first thing they wanna do is pull out their fist. It's a no win, you know? And I, I thought Chandler needs to teach them another way of communicating or working problems out.

Yeah. 

[00:16:04] Ellington Brown: Okay, this is kind of like a documentary and documentaries they do invite, vulnerability. 

[00:16:13] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm. 

[00:16:14] Ellington Brown: So what truths are you prepared to speak out loud in this next phase of the Channeler story? 

[00:16:26] Kem Frasier: What I need, what I would like to have pronounced vehemently is that bullying is never going to be acceptable.

Never! That really diminished the brain or the opportunity to use your mind to find other ways of dealing with difficulties. Because if we don't start with the kids. Then these ones will come become adults not knowing how to figure things out using violence and where would we be? We would, you know, we wouldn't be anywhere.

There would be no progress there. There would be more of the same and maybe worse. So I am definitely, definitely set on bringing this message to people and I will get some that will say, well, you know, I was taught, you hit me. I hit you back. And so my question to them is, where's the benefit? What have you gained from doing that?

Did you gain anything positive or did you gain something negative? What was the result? The consequences of you hit me and I hit you back. Nothing Good.

[00:17:40] Rita Burke: I like that. But it's, it's such a challenge. To get people to change their mindset, mindset on that approach to anything. It's ingrained. It's tattooed on people's minds and their hearts in their souls. You hit me. I hit that and adults told me that last Sunday that that's what she tells children and I tried to reason with her.

She was not in that frame, so I kind of backed off. 

[00:18:15] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm. 

[00:18:16] Rita Burke: Kind of backed off, but I, I, it saddened me, I must admit it saddened me for sure. She was an adult, a woman who probably is her late seventies telling me that that's what she tells children, that she very, very sad. But I wanna get a little bit more personal with you, miss, Ms.

Kem Fraser. 

[00:18:34] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm. 

[00:18:35] Rita Burke: You told me that when you went to France recently. Yes, it was your first time. Finish the sentence to me, 

[00:18:46] Kem Frasier: Out of the country. My first time out of the us. Yes. 

[00:18:49] Rita Burke: Share. Share that with our listeners please. 

[00:18:52] Kem Frasier: I was just amazed at what other countries have to offer. I loved it. It was a beautiful scenery.

The weather was gorgeous. The people, their personality was friendly, very friendly. So it was a lot of, um, musical talents there. There was a lot of kind of like, uh, showbiz type, you know, personalities there, but a lot of people with great talent. You know, a lot of, uh, producers with animation cartoons, uh, positive vibes.

They had a, a little gala there. It was just beautiful. I loved it. Yes!

[00:19:35] Ellington Brown: I wanna go back a little bit when we were talking about what bullies do or do not do, and what came to mind is, what happens to the child that isn't physically um, damaged. By the bullying, but they see where the father beats the mother. And that's not a form of bullying. I don't know. I don't know what is.

So how is the child affected when they actually witness that? 

[00:20:17] Kem Frasier: It becomes a, like a double-edged sword. They hate seeing it. It's like osmosis because it becomes a learned behavior. See if they see it enough. If they see it enough, they form, uh, some kind of, uh, opinion about how to deal with conflict, how to deal with difficulty because.

It's a win or lose situation. They're looking at, oh, that's the winner. Look, she punched her at him out. Oh look, he's got a black eye. She's the the champion. But we don't need to champion violence. Violence is never something to be rewarded for. It's something to be changed, something to come away from, because if everybody's doing that to one another, we wouldn't exist after a while.

So it doesn't pay to be, to, to have this kind of representation for your children. Remember, parents are just not people that are, you know, excluded from their children's life. Their children, no matter how young they are, is witnessing with their eyes, with their senses, what's going on in the house. So it's not like, oh, well they're too young.

They don't understand. Yes, they do. They may not understand verbally because they can't speak if they're babies, but somewhere down the line, as they grow up, they're going to exhibit that same type of behavior. 

[00:21:50] Rita Burke: They learn more from what they see than what they hear, don't they?

[00:21:53] Kem Frasier: Absolutely. 

[00:21:54] Rita Burke: Yes. You're quite correctly take in other like sponges. 

[00:21:58] Kem Frasier: Yes, 

[00:21:59] Rita Burke: we taken a lot, a lot of stuff you, yes, I do. Lot of stuff, 

[00:22:04] Kem Frasier: yes. 

[00:22:05] Rita Burke: And so you are also a publisher, aren't you? 

[00:22:10] Kem Frasier: Yes. Yes. 

[00:22:11] Rita Burke: How did you wanna learn that skill? 

[00:22:14] Kem Frasier: I think I, I learned it in, in college. Um, although I'm a teacher, I went into the teaching profession, I still had to develop my own.

Script per se. I didn't use curriculum. Curriculum was not realistic. It was impractical. I used my own script so that children could learn by doing, by seeing. So writing my own lesson plans. It got me into learning how to write stories. When I taught English in college, I taught kids how to develop a story.

Don't develop my story. Develop your own. Because everyone has a story. Yes. 

[00:23:05] Ellington Brown: So how do you get individuals to tell their story? And most people are, I think by nature, more or less, feel that their story isn't important and who wants to hear it anyway. So I'm just going to. Give that notion a rest.

[00:23:24] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm. 

[00:23:25] Ellington Brown: So how do you resurrect the motivation, internal motivation of individuals so that they feel free to tell their story just like Chandler? 

[00:23:38] Kem Frasier: Well, I think the way to that I motivate people or children is to help them feel good about themselves. There are no wrong answers. When you feel free that you're not being, um, uh, graded, you're not being, uh, you know, looked at as A, B, C, or D, then you're free to tell your story because each person's story is unique and important.

And I try to get that over to children, adults, and everyone else, that everyone has something that someone else is looking for. So we can help each other by telling stories and we heal each other by telling stories our own individual stories.

[00:24:29] Rita Burke: It is really important to tell our stories, and you could never get to a person webinar. If you don't have your stories, and, uh, it's so important to, to see us human beings not as fragments, but as whole people. 

[00:24:44] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm. 

[00:24:45] Rita Burke: And, and I think people are usually yearning to tell their stories year. 

[00:24:52] Kem Frasier: Yes. It's therapeutic.

[00:24:54] Rita Burke: It is very therapeutic. I agree with you. If Ken Fraser is alive, were a billboard. What three points would she want to include in that bill? What three important points. 

[00:25:11] Kem Frasier: Well, first of all, life is filled with, with a lot of challenges. That's just the facts. But all people have choices and no one, no one is prisoned or changed to follow a one particular choice or another. Making that choice takes time. It takes consideration of why you're making that choice, and it takes a positive attitude about your life, no matter how many negative things that have happened in it. It's a, it's a building block. You say we can build from our so-called failures or struggles, we can build character.

We could build answers to our problems, we could take another route. You say it doesn't close the door. Our, our struggles are not the end of the story, it's just the beginning.

[00:26:08] Ellington Brown: What a profound statement, if I may say so myself as a storyteller, which you definitely are, how do you decide when to speak and when to let the story speak for itself? 

I think because of the nature of the story, bullying and making people feel intimidated or uh, less than no worth, no value. Inferior, it's a worldwide problem because it, because, because it's a worldwide problem.

It pertains to everyone. It's applicable and it's very, uh, usable in today's world in general, but in particular the children. Because when we start with the young ones, then we can change their future.

[00:27:10] Rita Burke: If we could change their future, particularly when we start with the young ones. Profound indeed. I would like for you to finish the following sentence, please. 

[00:27:22] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm. 

[00:27:23] Rita Burke: Wise people will use their voices to, I'll say it again. Wise people, they'll use their voices to and finish that sentence for us 

[00:27:36] Kem Frasier: to speak the truth.

They'll use their voices to speak the truth. Truth always triumphs over anything else that's not real. It triumphs over lies and truth is what can make us grow. It gives us a foundation.

[00:28:00] Ellington Brown: Looking ahead, how do you hope your work empowers others to speak up, create boldly, and own its narrative? 

I think that people are just so tired of suffering in the dark. They're so tired. They're wanting to speak out, so I would like to give them that platform to feel comfortable enough to speak out because they are ready.

Everyone who has suffered all kinds of tragedy in life is ready to speak out and release them. That pain that they're holding inside.

[00:28:45] Rita Burke: Everyone's ready to speak out. It gives in a platform to release its catharsis. Yes. Getting that pain that they have inside. I'm just gonna throw one word at you this time. 

[00:28:58] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm. 

[00:28:58] Rita Burke: I'm not sure if I'm gonna say correctly, but it's viewed VEEU. 

[00:29:05] Kem Frasier: Yes. 

[00:29:06] Rita Burke: I'm throwing up word. You can do whatever you want. 

[00:29:09] Kem Frasier: Yeah, VEEU gives the, it's a platform that's in 25 different countries.

Uh, it's, um, originated in Canada, and it will give everyone the access to how Chandler solves problems. It will educate the young people into trying to do something better with their lives, making a win-win instead of a lose lose. So that platform is there and that one, that platform will house Chandler on January 10th, 2026 where we would be doing presales at that time.

[00:29:50] Ellington Brown: Is there something that you would like to mention before this, uh, conversation come to close? 

[00:30:01] Kem Frasier: I just would like to mention the fact that we're coming upon a new year, 2026. We can make this a better year. And it's not just a slogan, we just don't want to say things that we're not going to do. We wanna be real.

We wanna put some real objectives out there, some real goals. Something that's practical and wise and positive. That's what I'd like to say to all communities worldwide.

[00:30:32] Rita Burke: I, I, I hear that. I like it. 

[00:30:35] Kem Frasier: Mm-hmm. 

[00:30:36] Rita Burke: I concur. Most certainly with it. And so my last question to you then is what do you do? What does Kem Fraser do to add joy to her life? 

[00:30:54] Kem Frasier: What I do to add joy to my life is help other people. That's my joy, that's my mission in life. Uh, when I run the mental health professional, it's not clinical, it's emotional for me.

It's helping people feel again and feel good. So that's my mission, is I I'm a helper.

[00:31:21] Ellington Brown: What would you do? With a child that just refuses to break that cycle. And when I say cycle, I mean they, they bully. They've been. Detention. They've been, you know, confronted by the teacher and the parents, and it just seems like it. The more you try to help this per this kid, the worse they get. Have you ever run into a child where you just say, you know, okay, you know what, I, I don't.

This kid is definitely on their own. 

I've never kind of given up on a child or threw my hands up because. When the child is not listening, when they continue to practice these behaviors, they're not ready. You back off. You've gotta know when, when to intercede, when they are ready to accept change, if they're not ready to accept change.

Pushing them into it just makes things worse as far as they're concerned. They will continue on and they may get even more violent, more negative. So you have to be discerning. You have to see when and how, and you watch their behaviors. You're like, okay, let me see what he really wants. Sometimes the negative behavior has to be ignored if it's not dangerous, and they, that will kind of trigger them into wondering why they're not getting the attention.

That they're asking for you see? Yeah.

What you heard today is a powerful reminder that every voice carries value and that stories when spoken with intention can travel far beyond where they begin. And this conversation has definitely, uh, shown how you, Kem has found a way to help in, uh, children, parents for that matter, so that they break that cycle of bullying and become the loving and kind individuals that they are, that we all are.

So what I'd like to suggest to our, our guest is to review the template, review the, uh, narrative that will be, that's associated with this conversation, and use the links in order to continue to educate yourself about the dismal effects of bullying. Mm-hmm. That certainly doesn't help us at all. So if you are a creator, leader, change maker, you got a story, let us know.

Let SpeakUP!. International, have an opportunity to talk to, to you because, uh, one step better is that starting in 2026. Our podcast will be distributed in video format. So let's get everybody to tell their story. And I wanna thank you for coming back to us, taking us up on our offer to, uh, visit us and once again at SpeakUP! International.

Rita, do you have something you want to add to that? 

[00:35:02] Rita Burke: Yes, I simply want to. Add to what you said, Elton. And to sincerely thank our guest today, Kem Fraser, for being back with us and taking us out in the offer. When you've done something different, come back and let's have a chat, and that's what we've done in the most amicable and warm and informative, and inspiring manner.

So thank you. Thank you, thank you so much. You certainly educated us. 

[00:35:33] Kem Frasier: Well, thank you for having me, and I enjoyed it thoroughly and would love to appear again. 

[00:35:39] Ellington Brown: We're gonna, we're gonna hold you to that. 

[00:35:41] Kem Frasier: Yes. You do that. Please.