Fadhwa Yusuf's story of Transformation: Unearthing Treasures in Life's Twists and Embracing the Inner Child

[00:00:00] Elton Brown: Welcome to SpeakUP! International with Rita Burke and Elton Brown! 

[00:00:14] Rita Burke: This evening, our guest is homegrown on many occasions. We've spoken with people from England, from South Africa, from Mexico, from Brazil, from all over the United States of America. But our guest today, as I said, is coming to us from Kitchener Waterloo. She is a recognized figure. who has been featured in the media platforms such as CBC, CTV, the Globe and Mail.

Fadhwa is dedicated to personal transformation, and in 2015, she mobilized the community around the Syrian Resettlement Program. In 2019, Fadhwa was awarded the employee of the year awards. I want you to put your hands together. Let us welcome Fadhwa Yusuf to SpeakUP! International. 

[00:01:12] Fadhwa Yusuf: Thank you so much, Rita and Ellington for welcoming me here and to be here. What a pleasure. What a pleasure to be in this space. Thank you. 

[00:01:22] Elton Brown: You are the founder of the Gems of Life. Where did you come up with the name, the Gems of Life? 

[00:01:31] Fadhwa Yusuf: I love that question!

So, the gems of life was given birth to by Accelerate Your Life 2020. So originally, I started with Accelerate Your Life 2020. I was, uh, in a place where I was thriving and, uh, started getting really into personal development and soon after, a year after, is when the Gems of Life came, came through. And the idea was, in every experience, every situation, every conversation, every relationship, there's a gem.

In every challenge, there's a gem. And it's up to us to find and extract the gem within that experience. 

[00:02:12] Elton Brown: Can you explain your personal journey of transformation and how it led you to become a transformational life coach? 

[00:02:22] Fadhwa Yusuf: Wow. We, we always talk about life is a journey, right? It's not a de the destination, it's a journey.

And for me. I think the year of awakening for me is 2017. And I often share about this and I talk openly about it. 2017. Uh, I found myself, you know, I'm a single parent raising two children on my own and for the first time felt things that I never felt before. I felt this, um, this, this connection within myself.

I've, I had questions, more questions than answers. Who am I? Where am I heading? Where did I lose me? Where do I find me? And it was those questions that I was really curious to know and find that actually started the journey for me that got me where I am today. 

[00:03:07] Rita Burke: I like that you said that in every situation there are gems because I, I quite agree with that concept with that notion. Talk to us about the Syrian resettlement program that you were involved with. 

[00:03:22] Fadhwa Yusuf: Yeah, this happened back in 2015 when we had an influx of refugees coming into our region, as many other.

Provinces within Canada and we were expecting a really big number. I think we were expecting about 1500. Um, yeah, 1500 coming into our region and at the time, um, I was one of the co founders of a nonprofit organization that I'm no longer part of, but at the time, it's like calling different places and organizations and within the region and nobody was doing anything.

And it was like, okay, you know what, if no one is doing anything, then I'm going to do something. And what I actually thought would be a two week project ended up being a six month long project, but it was the community that came together. It was the media that came together. It was the sense of we're in this together and you're not alone.

And that support made a huge difference. Yeah. 

[00:04:17] Elton Brown: So how do you help individuals reconnect with their essence and what is essence and discover their true calling and mission in life. 

[00:04:26] Fadhwa Yusuf: You know, I think that's the question that I started with back in 2017, right? Who am I? And how do I find me? And that question I was, I was on a quest to find that answer.

And I think now today where I am in this moment in my life, I'm able to give some aspect to that answer, you know, the essence. And to me, the essence of who you are is actually tapping into you, getting to know you, developing that connection with yourself. And when we lose touch of who we are, we lose touch of ourselves.

We, we just walking around and we just kind of in a, in a, in a survival state of more robotic mode and you're just going through the motion. Right. And for me, the essence is getting to know who you are in a deeper level. And not just that, but embracing everything that is to you. Because. It's not all beautiful, but everything is beautiful when we accept it as they are.

[00:05:23] Rita Burke: Fadhwa Yusuf, I would like to go back to your resettlement program, and I want you to tell us what kinds of things did you do to help these people to settle, please. 

[00:05:42] Fadhwa Yusuf: Absolutely. So the main aim for that was knowing that when the families come to a region, they're basically starting from scratch. I also knew these resources that would help them in terms of housing.

Right. But for me, my intention was to make sure that every family, every child gets. The necessary things that they need to get them started. So that started with a clothing drive and that was the main area of focus. Made sure we made sure that when they walked in they had shopping carts with them and they take, they took anything and everything they needed from winter coats to mittens.

It was winter at that time. Uh, shoes, clothing, and we had a lot of donations that came through for household items. The only thing missing that they would not have access to was electronics. Big stuff. kitchen stuff, big stuff like fridge and oven and furniture, but everything else was there for them.

Everything was accessible to them. And then also bringing other community partners that are in the region and helping them, you know, in terms of translation services, in terms of transportation, because they were not driving. So they were staying in a hotel. Uh, and we had volunteers actually going into the hotels, bringing them up.

Get whatever they needed diapers for young babies, you know, um, everything they needed a family needed. We made sure that they were supported in and there was monetary funds that people had donated as well. So we made sure we got the things that we could not otherwise purchase and get it for them as well.

[00:07:14] Rita Burke: So are you happy with the outcome of your project? Are those people really settled and do you still connect with any of them? 

[00:07:23] Fadhwa Yusuf: Yeah. So it was, the support was overwhelming. The community really, really came together and six months later when I look back at that, I actually stopped at four months because I was so worn out, completely worn out.

I was doing that day and night, right? And as you can imagine, as a single parent, I was thrown between my home and there. By the time it was four months, I was completely Out of it exhausted and worn out. I was in bed rest after that. So I had another team that actually took over the project and made sure that the families got everything they needed.

And after 6 months, um, the project ended and everything that, uh, remained that was not used, it was shipped and put in containers and shipped into the refugee camps, uh, in different parts of the world to support the families that were still there. But I'm, I'm say, I would actually say confidently, um, It was a success based on the need that we were able but more so it was the community connection, you know, because they will come there and they made connection they met other people they were involved in the community, they were.

They were coming into meeting different people I actually met for the first time, another lady who was named by this, who shared the same name as me, you know, so it was that real human connection it wasn't just about. Helping them with what they needed, but it was also long lasting relationships. I still continue to have some of those relationships with some of those families to this day. 

[00:08:54] Elton Brown: Tell me some of the techniques you use with individuals that come to you who need your help 

[00:09:03] Fadhwa Yusuf: in terms of help in terms of self development? 

[00:09:08] Elton Brown: Self development, them finding their essence, their passion. 

[00:09:13] Fadhwa Yusuf: You know, the fact that they come forward, to me, that's something to celebrate. The moment I get a client who says, help, I need support, to me, that is like, let's celebrate the fact that you're here.

Because oftentimes, we hide in our own Stuff we hide in our own chaos. We hide in our own pain. So the fact that I get a client who's readily and willingly and open to take that step, that's a huge step. So we actually, that's the first step. We celebrate that step. And then the next step is now we look at what is the objective?

What is it that you're looking to gain? What is it that you want out of life? But for me, the approach I use is I go deeper beneath the surface. I go deeper and find out what are the blocks, right? Once they have the objective and I truly believe everything that we go through life right now is driven by our past experiences.

It has shaped the environment. Society beliefs have shaped who we have become and sometimes who we have become is not in alignment with our true selves of who we want to be. So it's having them come up with that. And guide them through that process. 

[00:10:25] Rita Burke: I'm hearing you talk a little bit about dissonance. That things are not being aligned. I like that concept. I like that idea. Now, can you walk us through what tapping into the body means? When it's connected to the context of reconnecting with one's wounded child self. Wounded child self and tapping into the body. Explain, expand on that kind of, explain, expand on that notion for us, please.

[00:10:57] Fadhwa Yusuf: I mean, if you had said that to me a few years ago, the wounded child, I'll be like, come on, what are you talking about? Right? I wouldn't speak for, I wouldn't say everyone, I'm going to speak from my own experience, right? But I also know from my client's experiences and from the work that, in the line of work that I've done, we have a wounded child in us.

And that wounded child is the, is shaped by the experiences from our past. And some of those experiences predate sometimes, you know, a five year old or two year old. It could be as far as in the experience in the womb, right? And that it's mind blowing. What are you talking about? People will tell me, right?

But we have that wounded child self, uh, that experience stems from pre birth, pre verbal. Even before we speak, there's that woundedness that we carry. That's the wounded child self. That's the wounded child self that didn't get the things that needed at the time. Maybe it's the care, the love, the attention, right?

Um, and the connectedness, because that's what we seek. We always seek that connectedness. And when we don't have that. Something, a story is created based on that. And when I talk about the body, um, a few years ago, when I started this learning, this, um, history, not history, the experience of learning about myself and my body and getting to know myself and developing this relationship with myself.

It was so new to me that I started judging myself because I'll sit in a room and I'll look at everyone. They're so connected. They're so in alignment with themselves and their body, right? And you can tell from their body. And I'm sitting there and thinking, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Why am I not connected?

Everybody's connected to their body. Something is wrong with me. And it took me a while to actually understand and say, hold on. Yes, I am tapping into my body, but I'm also tapping into a part of me that is disconnected. And there's nothing wrong with that. Until I recognized that it's okay. To feel that what I was feeling and not make it wrong.

Everything started shifting for me because I realized this what it's what I call the gatekeeper. It's protecting me. It's protecting this wounded child self. Right? Because this wounded child is saying, where are you entering? Who are you coming? Who are you coming to see? Um, it's put a wall and the gatekeeper is the disconnected part that was keeping this wounded child self safe.

But I didn't even recognize that's a part that I was tapping into. So when we talk about tapping into a body, it's so important to recognize that it's a different experience for each one of us. And now to, to notice, to notice if there's any judgment because that judgment itself. Is a part of our experience in our body. 

[00:13:51] Elton Brown: I get what you are saying. I do understand exactly what you're saying. Going deeper is kind of like, hmm, peeling an onion layer by layer until you're able to reach this wounded child. So, this process, can it be painful? 

[00:14:16] Fadhwa Yusuf: I think that's a really good question, right? I think oftentimes we stay away from that pain. We avoid the pain, right? And for a good reason, we think if I visit that part, it's going to be very painful. It's going to be overwhelming. I won't be able to handle it. But the truth is, if this is what I tell my clients is it's already happened. It's not happening to you right now, right? So separating that experience from the now in this moment and recognizing me as the adult at this moment is not the one who's experiencing the pain.

It's an experience of my child self, right? So that you're coming from an empowered place now because now you realize, Oh, hold on. Yeah, it's painful. Yes. It's painful for my wounded child self. So now, as the adult self, I can hold that space for this child self, so that I can hold that pain for that child self, where the moment we come from that lens, it's A lot easier to process that because we've separated ourselves from that experience. 

[00:15:25] Rita Burke: Tell us if you've ever had a moment when you stood up and said enough. Have you ever had a moment when you stood up and said enough. And what did you do about that enough feeling? 

[00:15:46] Fadhwa Yusuf: Oh, oh my God. So many, so many. So two that really shaped my life that I can share that really changed the trajectory of my life completely.

Um, so one is, um, around 2017. Um, so 2017 is when I started, you know, I call it my year of awakening and I had gone to the doctor. Talk to the doctor. I'm telling this doctor, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm not feeling any emotions. I'm in a place where I don't know what's happening. I was really confused. Uh, and the first thing the doctor said, you have, it seems like you have signs of depression.

Here's the pill, take it, go home. So I went back home and I looked at the prescription, uh, paper and I looked at it and then I said, is this your ending Fadhwa? Depression, right? For me. So I took, I looked at that paper and And I'm going to be very clear because I know that depression is real, mental illness is real, and people are suffering, right?

And I looked at that paper and I said, I need to find answers first before I go for this. And for anyone who's taking any medication today, please do not stop by me saying this. I'm going to put a disclaimer there. This was my own personal choice. Right. Do not make any choice based on me saying what I'm saying, follow what the doctors have prescribed for you.

So for me in that moment, I didn't go with that. What I did, however, is I went back home and I packed my stuff and within a month, I was out of the country completely. I took my suitcases with my two kids and I left everything that I've known that I've built in how many years. And I got a one way ticket back to Africa.

To me, that was enough. Enough is enough. I need to do something about my life. Bold, self rescue. That was for me. The second part was back. So when I came back 18 months later, it was the best decision I made, by the way, because I came back, somebody new. And 18 months later, I came back, no home, no job, no money, two kids.

And I'm sitting at my aunt's basement apartment. And I'm thinking, where do I begin now to rebuild my life? And that is the moment it was like enough. The information you've gathered all these years is not enough to move you forward. Everything you know is not enough to take you forward. You need new information.

And in that moment, Rita, I did the second craziest thing. Remember, I don't have money. I don't have any job. And there was opportunity for me to invest on a program that cost me enough to buy a new car, enough to furnish my own home, enough to pay my 10 month rent. And here I was sitting, I'm thinking, I'm gonna go for it.

And I went for it. Bold decision. Why? Because I had enough. I had enough of the way I was living my life. I had enough of the same, you know, rituals. I had enough of the same results. That's not moving you forward. That's not taking you forward. That you're not growing. Those are the two I would say that really impacted my life.

When I said enough is enough. Yeah. 

[00:19:07] Elton Brown: How would I go about reaching my child self? 

[00:19:11] Fadhwa Yusuf: How would you go? 

[00:19:12] Elton Brown: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I want to add something to that. 

[00:19:16] Fadhwa Yusuf: Yeah. 

[00:19:17] Elton Brown: Would I be able to say I've reached my child self, let's say, because I love reading children's books. Is that one way of connecting to my child self, or is this child self something different than what I think I'm connecting to when I maybe behave as a child.

[00:19:43] Fadhwa Yusuf: So maybe I can ask you a question based on that. My question would be to you, when you read the books, how do you experience it? What does it, what are the kind of emotions that come through you when you read those books? Right, because those are the things that maybe the child self is longing to feel.

Right. And you're giving the child self, those kinds of feelings when you read those books and you read those stories. 

[00:20:09] Elton Brown: Well, I find that when I read those children's books, it allows me to free myself from everything else because I am totally focused into that book and it allows me to dream. It allows me to meet my creative self.

Through the use of children's books. And so that's why I asked, is this a route that I could take in order to reach my child self to pamper and nourish it and, you know, make it better. And then we, then, you know, my child self and then myself, and we were both good. And now I can now, I can now move forward.

I'm bringing this up because I'm trying to. Make sure that I understand it and hopefully our audience will be able to, uh, understand it too, even though I'm probably bungling my way through this, but nevertheless, um, I, I just had to express that. 

[00:21:15] Fadhwa Yusuf: Yeah, no, I mean, one of the things that I often do an activity that I do with the clients when they're tapping into the child self is I'll have them, uh, bring the child self and do the things that the child self loves doing.

Right. So that could be going out in the park or running in the park or just playing, doing things and being free. So who knows, maybe that's exactly what you're doing. You're tapping into that part of your child self, the creative child self. Right. Who's very creative and you, it's an escape when you're reading the book, it's an escape and you're immersed in the stories.

Right. So that's you actually giving that child self something that it enjoys. You know, and that's a great way to connect to that part of you. It's a great way to, because a child's, a happy child's self is a happy adult. You know, it's, then you're holistic. You're very holistic because now you're so connected, right?

And you get it. You're like, yeah, I get it. It's, it gives you that freedom. It gives you that escape. It gives you that place to be creative and be you. I love it. Thank you for sharing that. 

[00:22:25] Rita Burke: You mentioned that you have been a guest on the CBC and CTV, Globe and Mail you've spoken with. What kinds of things did you talk about with those, those platforms?

What did you talk about?

[00:22:47] Fadhwa Yusuf: Mm hmm. So When we were doing the, um, when I launched the project, this Syrian clothing drive, uh, resentment program, um, I knew I couldn't do this on my own, right? Um, the community, we needed to get the word out. So the first time we, we did that, um, I call, I called, uh, um, CBC and they did an article and then CTV followed.

Um, and when CTV came, it was actually, the place was empty. We had like two tables worth of stuff. And then CBC came back again and did an article, and it was full of stuff, but we still needed a few more items. Um, and this time around, when they came, it was, the room was just from one end to the end. The wall was filled everywhere, like literally.

There was no room to accept anything else. And that's what I was saying. We don't need any more clothes. We don't need any more winter jackets. We need kitchen utensils that because that's what the need was, um, GLOBE AND MAIL. They featured me twice. Um, one was we talk about when I talk about with my clients, you know, getting rid of fear of not getting rid of fear, but overcoming fear.

And working on your fear from and pursuing your dreams and passion one for me was riding a bike and learning how to ride a bike. And as you know, especially when it comes to black women swimming and riding a bike is, um, it's one of the difficult, uh, Activities for a lot of black women. So it was it has been my aspiration to learn how to swim and to learn how to ride a bike.

So it was an event. I was at downtown here in Kitchener where I was speaking to, uh, the, uh, the reporter and I shared with him the story and he's like, would you mind, you know, if I I, I. I share your story. I said, I don't mind. So he did share the story of, you know, overcoming the fear of falling or overcoming the fear of any type of fear.

So he did feature that article, um, on the, on GLOBE AND MAIL. And I'm so appreciative because I had a lot of people reach out to me and saying, Oh my God, you have no idea how you've inspired me to pursue this because it was always my fear to do this. based on shame or whatever the case may be. 

[00:25:08] Elton Brown: You have a core message. There's a statement on your website and I quote, " we are more powerful and impactful when we own and stand in our truth." So how does this philosophy guide you or should I say guide your coaching? 

[00:25:26] Fadhwa Yusuf: Absolutely. You know, we are more powerful when we stand in our truth. I think We have been shaped to respond, take action, or even react based on our unconscious. You know, programming, right? And sometimes 98 percent of the stuff that we act to or respond to is already a programmed manifestation of what we think is best for us, right? And when I talk about standing in your truth, it means that you have stripped everything about yourself, and you have gone within yourself, and you have looked within yourself, and you have embraced everything there is to you inside out, right?

And not only embraced it, but accepted it. And created space and room for more for growth to challenge yourself to not only just challenge yourself, but to to create a space where I am not here just for me. I am here for others. There's a message within me. I am here to fulfill a calling. Right. So when we stand in our truth, it's not just about ourselves.

It's standing too much with studying and saying, you know what, I'm taking accountability for my life. But I also know I have a vision to fulfill and I have a life. to impact. I am not here just for me. I am here to make a difference. So standing in your truth means that take ownership of you and take ownership of the truth that you have been given and pass it forward and make an impact.

That's to me, standing in your truth means. 

[00:27:03] Rita Burke: We're chatting with Fadhwa Yusuf and she's sharing some gems. She talked about gems, I'm getting them from her today. I want to know from you, and I want you to share with our audience, what would you say is the best piece of advice you've ever been given?

[00:27:23] Fadhwa Yusuf: Wow. Be gentle to yourself.

Yeah, because I think we are too hard on ourselves. Oftentimes, we beat ourselves down, we, we live a life of regrets. We want to change something that we have no power of changing. Right. We can only change ourselves. We can't, we don't have the power authority to change anyone else. Right. Um, I've learned to not to carry my burden.

What that does not belong to me is not mine. Right. So being gentle to myself is actually coming back to me and taking care of me first. You know, it goes back to that. When you get on the plane, what do they say? Put on the mask first before you put on even on your child, right? So, um, and that goes back to taking care of you because when you're in a good place, you're able to take care of everyone else.

So be kind and be gentle to yourself. 

[00:28:16] Elton Brown: You talk about transformation a lot on your, on your website, different perspectives. So in general, how many years does it take for an individual to go through A transformation. And when I say that, that could mean many things because we're all different individuals. So how many years would it does it normally take on average for this transformation to manifest itself? 

[00:28:50] Fadhwa Yusuf: Oh my, that's a million dollar question. I wish I had a million dollar answer for you.

You know what, I think we go back to being. Be kind to yourself and be gentle to yourself. I think if we put a number to it, it's an expectation that we set to ourselves that, um, I think it's not going to play well to ourselves because our experiences are very different. I think for me, transformation happens on a moment to moment basis.

Transformation to me is not a place to get to. It's not a place to get to, it's a place to be. And that it happens on a moment to moment basis. So, uh, I would say, you know, when I look back in my life, I call 2017 as the year of awakening, but I look and I see, oh, prior to that, I'm not going to ignore it, I'm not going to dismiss it because all those years were set up for me.

They were just setting me up for this, right? So now I can look back from those experiences and actually draw in the gems and extract the gems from those experiences. Because I'm in a place where I can actually look with gratitude, with wisdom and insight, right? So for me, transformation also goes to look at my past.

Because we can't go forward if we don't know where we came back from. Right. So I draw in the wisdom. I'm learning and I'm going back because the child self is also from our past, right? So that's the transformation is actually transforming the wounded child self also part of the healing. So I won't even put a number to it.

I would say, take every moment with grace and gratitude. Take every moment as it comes and embrace yourself in that moment because that's where to me growth happens. To me, I'm more focused on the growth than putting a number to the years of transformation. 

[00:30:42] Rita Burke: So what I hear you say then. is that those years were setting you up for success. And you're really appreciative that you've had whatever experiences they were. What I'd like to know more about, though, is what happened when you came back from Africa? You told us a little bit about that. Yes. What did you do? You talked about going to school. Tell us a little bit more of that story, please.

[00:31:11] Fadhwa Yusuf: Yes, absolutely. So when I came back, of course, I'm starting from scratch, right? And I noticed that's my pattern and I can't tell you how many times I've moved, but that's the time where I was sitting at my aunt's basement and with two kids, no job, no money, no home. And I'm thinking, okay, it's a new start.

You started a new beginning. Now what? Right now what? And it started with investing in myself because I knew up to that moment what I knew was not enough to take me to the next level. I wanted more. I have this thirst for more for the first time. I had this hunger for more. I wanted to do something with my life.

I didn't know what that was, but I wanted to do something. I didn't know I'll be where I am today at that moment, but I knew something was calling me something. There was a bigger calling and When I started investing in myself, the first lesson I learned was, I remember, um, the gentleman by the name of Bob Proctor.

He has passed away since. And he said, what he asked, what is the image you hold in your mind? What is the image you hold in your mind? And that question stood out for me the most. Because up to that moment, the image I held in my mind was that of a weak, skinny little girl that still was held in that my wounded self.

From a very young age, and I actually believe that because that's the programming, right? I wasn't capable of doing anything. I was not smart enough to do anything. I was not capable of building a life. That's the image I held. And up to that moment, I said, if I want to change in my life, it's not going to happen with this image.

I got to shift the image. I have to recreate the image. I have to redesign that image. And what is that image do I want? Oh, I want an image that is going to get what she wants and build a life and create and rewrite this image and story that I've been holding on to over store over week little girl, because I'm no longer that week little girl.

So I had to break away from that and recreate that image. That's the way it started for me. And slowly, I started learning and I started. Okay. I love speaking. I want to get into Toastmasters. I want to, I love speaking. So I got into Toastmasters. Then I was so inspired to actually get into speaking competition and I became a champion.

in this division, right? Which was amazing. But let me tell you, after that I started working on the self healing. So it wasn't just transformation, but I actually wanted to get in touch with myself and connect with myself. And that's when I discovered the wounded child self, that there is a wounded part of me, different parts of me that wanted to be healed.

And it's that process that slowly, like you said, you know, Ellington, like that onion you're peeling, slowly started peeling off those layers and layers and layers, and wow, what a gem was waiting there, just waiting to be discovered. And here I am today. 

[00:34:14] Rita Burke: You mentioned programming, and I really am curious. I want to know where the programming came from. 

[00:34:22] Fadhwa Yusuf: So the programming is, it's a mindset, right? When we talk, when we talk about programming. From the day we are, from the day we are in our mother's womb, there's certain programming that are happening unconsciously, unconsciously. I mean, there's so many stories that I could share with you, even from my experience.

I don't know if we have time just to show you this, this simple programming that happens that shapes your entire life. Do I have time for that? 

[00:34:52] Elton Brown: Uh, yes. 

[00:34:54] Fadhwa Yusuf: I'll make it very brief. Okay. So when my mother was about eight months pregnant with me, I'm her first child. She got, she became very, very ill, so she went to the hospital and they put her on a bed rest for a month until my birth.

And by the time she went into labor with me, she was going in and out of consciousness, in and out of consciousness, right? So my, my life was at risk. Her life was at risk. The doctors didn't know who's going to survive. Fortunately, I was able to make it. My mother, by the time she gave birth to me, my mother fell into unconsciousness.

So she didn't even know if she had given birth to a child, let alone a live child. But I want to share that experience because we, we don't think the impact that may have the pressure and the stress of the mother impacts the unborn child. So the stress is already, already started programming me before even the little me before I was even, I entered the world.

So by the time I entered the world, there's this programming that this world is not safe. Because I'm entering this world, I'm moving from the womb, it's not safe. What was once safe place is no longer safe because of the uncertainty, right? And uncertainty is one of my programming. Unknown is one of my programming that I have finally been able to completely work on it.

So by the time the little me was born, um, I was so small because the blood pressure sucked the life out of me and they put me in an incubator. Now imagine a little baby, who the first time enters this world, what's the first thing that little baby craves for the attention, the mother, the connection, right, the connection to be held.

But how could my mother hold me when she was helpless herself and I was taken immediately and put in an incubator. So what happens now? What is that meaning? What does that child now make meaning of in that moment? I'm not wanted. And it's on a very unconscious level, unconscious level. The child doesn't choose that, but that's what he believes.

I'm not wanted. I'm rejected. I'm not wanted. I'm not loved. That's why I was not held. It does not understand my mother's ill. Now in an incubator, and then now what happens, everybody steps away. Now what this baby experiences, I'm alone. I'm abandoned. You see the programming, that's where the programming starts.

So I didn't know that my entire life, I held onto that until recently where I was able to unpack it. I carried a lot of, um, rejection, I carried a lot of abandonment, I carried a lot of loneliness, I carried a lot of sadness, all these were programming in my body and in my mind. And these are memories that are locked in our body, especially when it comes to emotions, right?

And it carries over and it's that wounded child self carries that until we come and connect to that part of us. It will always be a memory locked in our body until we're able to release them. So that's just an example of a programming. So how does it show up in my adult life? Rejection can show up. If somebody says something and they turn me down, how am I going to make meaning of that?

Right? If a person I'm talking to, maybe I think he loves me and he walks away. What am I going to make meaning of that? Right? He rejected me. He abandoned me. He does not want me. He doesn't love me. Right? So we make meaning based on our present life right now, based on our experiences and they shape the relationships that we're in today.

 That experience in the womb shaped my fear of drowning. So I had fear of drowning, even going into the pool. And I could never understand why, why am I, why do I feel like I'm going to drown when I'm going into the pool? It's until recently that I've been able to unpack that too. I can swim now after I unpack the fear. Yeah. 

[00:39:04] Elton Brown: I think that this thing of hurting this inner child can not only happen when we were young throughout our lives. And we don't realize what the situations have done to us and internally, so we just go about our way until all of a sudden we hit that brick wall and we're wondering, wow, why am I feeling this way?

 Why is my body having these turmoil? So, is this where. The significance of unmasking happens? Is that where this where you discovering your true potential through a coach such as yourself. Is that how that unmasking began? 

[00:39:55] Fadhwa Yusuf: Yes. Yes. So we unmask, right? It's that peeling of the onions. We unmask the layers that are holding an individual.

Right. Um, we unmask the layers that are beneath the fears. So all these fears, they're there for a reason. The fears that we hold, um, or the belief system that we hold, they stem from our childhood experiences. We don't just magically wake up one morning and start believing we are, we have, we are not unworthy, right?

We are unworthy of love. We don't just wake up one day magically and feel, you know, we are alone. No, these are very deep, um, old memories from our past experiences. Yeah. And, and sitting down with the, with the individuals or my clients to be able to unmask that. It's just beautiful to witness that because then they realize, oh, when I'm feeling this right now.

This feeling predates this moment, they can go back actually and, and, and, and move backward and say, Oh, this is not the first time I've experienced this. I experienced this at this stage in my life. Now, when the moment they do that, they're able to stand in their present moment and recognize that it's my wounded child's self that is here right now.

[00:41:10] Rita Burke: So there's some aha moments. Absolutely. When you recognize what you described in your birth process. I am relatively familiar with that because they're very a good friend of mine, more like a sister, studied and wrote about that in her thesis, and she calls it intergenerational spirit injury. That's how she refers to it, about things that come, things that come down from generation to generation, and things that occur even while a child is in uterus, and how it affects that person, and how it manifests itself as the person grows and becomes an adult, and sometimes still.

shows up and lots of people aren't aware of the impact that that kind of thing will have on their life and those kinds of things. So yes, I could relate to what you're talking about there, really could relate to that. So then is there anything that you want to share with us that we have not asked you?

[00:42:20] Fadhwa Yusuf: Um, I think what I can say is that we all have the capacity to heal. We all have the capacity to tap into our higher version of ourselves, right? We all have the capacity to reconnect to that child self, you know, and to build that relationship. And I truly, truly believe that the more we disconnect from that part of ourselves, the longer we will struggle and the longer we will suffer.

Right. The sooner we develop that relationship, the sooner we connect with that part of ourselves, um, and heal and continue to open that space for healing, not just for ourselves, but also for those around us, because the magic happens when we are doing that, when we are going through that process, everyone around us, their energy shifts.

Magically, it's beautiful to observe and witness that because now you're not triggering each other, right? We are all walking triggers. Well, even our children to trigger us, right? Even our children trigger us, our parents triggers, we trigger each other, our partners, we all trigger each other when we focus and bring attention and energy to ourselves.

And heal ourselves, that energy starts to shift and you will notice the relationship around us starts to shift because now you've brought a lot of awareness, a lot of consciousness, and now you're more heightened, right? You're paying attention to your body. You're paying attention to what's happening.

You're paying attention to what meaning you're assigning. I had a conversation today with one of my clients and she left me a beautiful, beautiful message today. Just saying thank you, you know, for helping me because today I am in a not only a better place, but my career is flourishing. I'm thriving. I'm succeeding in everything that I do because she felt one time she was in a cocoon.

She could not move past that. Right? She was just stuck, but now she was able, she was able to assign a different meaning to a part of her that she was ashamed of. And she calls and she said, you have my permission, share it. She was, she felt I carried shame. I always had shame around things, you know, and today I've given meaning to that shame a different meaning to every assigned a different meaning to that shame.

And it was through a process. We had to go through a process. It wasn't a one day thing. It was a lot of conversations, a lot of connections with her child self. And now it's like, she says, she calls that instead of shame, she calls it I have assigned it to a sage. It's a sage now. It's there. It has a different meaning.

It has a different fulfilling. Um, it's fulfilling different desires in different parts of the world today because it's flourishing and it's thriving in its own way. Yeah. So this is real. This is real. Like I'll give you another example. I have a client in UK, England, um, in England, UK, and she said the same thing.

You know, she says, I have been suffering from fibromyalgia. And fibromyalgia stems from trauma, and we have so many different conversations. And one day she calls me and tells me, I don't feel, I haven't felt pain. I haven't felt this way in such a long time. So I want to invite to our listeners, to all the listeners listening here.

I want you to know that there's so much in you. There's so much in you. And I know that the moment you tap into that. a well of just abundance will flourish through you. And I'm confident in that. So I say, give yourself that permission. Give yourself that opportunity. Seek the help, seek support, reach out to support because I know this, you cannot do it on your own.

I didn't do this on my own. Find support, find somebody who can help you and you'll be amazed and you'll be amazed by what you will witness!. 

[00:46:21] Elton Brown: The Gems of Life. This has new meaning and how all of these gems can help us. towards being our better self, having this wonderful analogy of transformational unmasking so that you can discover your true self and how to heal because without the discovery, which yes, you need that. You need the healing in order so that you can reassign these areas of trauma to, give it a different name now, because it doesn't hold that amount of importance as it did before.

Is it, is it important? Yes. You need to look back sometimes in order to use it as a reference. Yes, but it is not triggering, it is not there to

have you do things that you really don't want to do or discover something about yourself that you're not proud of because through the Gems of Life, you're able to unmask and transform and find the emotions and the unlimited beliefs and the universe through the Gems of Life. Thank you so much for joining us tonight.

This has been a true workshop of sorts. I'm sure that our listeners will definitely have a different perspective on the thoughts of healing and discovering one's true potential. 

[00:48:04] Rita Burke: I want to thank you as well for being our guest on SpeakUP! International. As you're aware, we seek to inform, to inspire, and to educate on SpeakUP! International.

I have no doubt that your story, or your stories, We'll do that for our listeners. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much!

[00:48:27] Fadhwa Yusuf: It's been, it's been an honor to be in your space. Um, thank you so much. I appreciate you and I appreciate the work that you do and spreading the message. Um, for surely this, this is also a gem, a gem of a station, a gem of a place where people can actually listen and create impact. Thank you for having me!

[00:48:49] Elton Brown: Thank you for listening to SpeakUP! International. If you wish to contact Ms. Fadhwa Yusuf. Please visit her website at www.thegemsoflife.com. 

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