Krystal Clark's Journey of Resilience and the Power of Personal Awakening

[00:00:00] Elton Brown: Welcome to SpeakUP! International with Rita Burke and Elton Brown. 

[00:00:15] Rita Burke: On SpeakUP! International we have the pleasure of speaking with people from all over the world, hence our name, SpeakUP! International. We've spoken to people from England, from Mexico, from South Africa, you name it. And today we're a bit closer to home.

We're going to be having a conversation with a woman who lives in Texas. She's an author, she's a blogger, she's a life coach, she's a public speaker, I'd like to introduce our listeners today to Ms. Krystal Clark! 

[00:00:49] Krystal Clark: Hi there! Thank you. So happy to be here. 

[00:00:53] Elton Brown: I'm glad that you're here too!

 Can you share some specific challenges that you faced during your journey and coping with emotional distress and hitting rock bottom and how do you manage all of that and start working your way back to a better place? 

[00:01:13] Krystal Clark: Sure. I believe if I could just start, it would be, I had a very I had a, I had a wonderful childhood.

I will say that it was not definitely without its struggles. It's disappointments. Um, and some of the effects that happened through that. So, as I would hope any, uh. Family or parents would like to raise their kids. I was raised extremely. To be extremely respectful to be independent to have quite a bit of morals and values, because how you act within the home is how you would be acting outside of the home.

So, I am very proud to say that my parents very much. So instilled a very rooted and grounded individual. In myself, 

[00:01:58] Elton Brown: Was it a strict household? 

[00:02:00] Krystal Clark: No, no, just. discipline, we had fun. We had family traditions. We laughed a lot. All all those good things. There was tension between my parents that I could see at an early age and it stem from their, their relationship, obviously, before I was born.

But I remember at an early age, they were arguing about perhaps some money or something that way. And I just wanted the argument to stop. So. I think when my mom was saying, oh, I need $25.00. You were supposed to give me $25.00. My dad was saying, yeah, I gave that to you. And so they were going back and forth about this.

And I remember stepping in between them, which I'm not advocating any child to do, but I was like, guys, stop arguing mom. I'll give you $20.00 and dad, I'll give you five and they stopped and looked at me and they realized they were arguing in front of their daughter about something very inconsequential. Right and what that probably probably had an effect on me.

So immediately stop the conversation and, um, and at that moment, at that age, I remember thinking, I'm not going to argue in front of my children. I don't want to ever put my child in that place. So, as growing as I grew up, I would say, maybe around. Eight, nine years of age. I had a large family. I still have a large family, but we moved away from Baton Rouge, Louisiana to Omaha, Nebraska, where majority of my, well, we had no support.

So the only time I could really convene and you know, just fellowship with my family was during the holidays and over the summer. And what would happen is because there's so many of us, I would spend one night with each. Cousin or family member or aunt, and then I would go to the next and go to the next.

Well, at one particular cousin's house that I was at, he would molest me and it would happen that night. And then the next day, I would move on and go. So, at this point, it was something that I hadn't experienced. And what folks kind of don't understand is when someone touches you in an intimate place. It doesn't hurt.

It is a feeling of pleasure that, you know, I do not want this from this individual. I feel that I've been violated, but I don't know how to respond to it because I feel like I like it. So now I'm guilted with this and I'm shamed with that. So I keep this secret for quite a bit and it continues to happen every year, every summer, and I'm thinking, well, my mother has raised me to be independent and strong.

So I can take this on. I can take it because hopefully he will get over it and it will stop. Okay, I would then notice that I would change my personality, and I would start to turn inward and isolate myself. I became very introvert. And it was a moment where I believe in 9th grade, uh, this individual, my parents had this grand idea.

Well, hey, let's. Let's bring this person in to live with us because he doesn't have the same opportunities. We can give them, we can that to them and we can afford them without them really knowing that he was doing this to me. So they were bringing the perpetrator into the house without their knowledge.

This abuse continued to happen and it escalated from not once a year but to every day, every night. And he would come within my sleep. Right. So now I can't have good. I don't I have insomnia today, so I don't sleep well and depression really set in really hard because I was struggling. I was struggling with this individual and I was struggling with trying to reconcile how I was going to tell my mother because if I tell her.

That I was not strong enough to stand against this individual who was two years younger to younger than me, by the way, how work that she had put and invested into me. I was just thinking she's going to be disappointed and feel like she failed. I'm not thinking about myself. And when I, and then I also thought, am I really a value.

To my mother, because I feel like, as a daughter, she put a lot of work into me. But she gave a lot of grace to my brother, my younger brother, so there was a lot of passes that he got and a lot of things. My punishments when I did probably the same infractions, they were a lot stricter on me. So, I had to really rely on journaling and storytelling, because that was the way of me expressing myself.

My parents weren't emotionally. Intelligent, if you will, so I was very emotionally withdrawn, but I finally told her and. She told my, my dad, uh, they discussed that with him, made him apologize when he left out the room. They asked me, okay, Krystal . Now that that has happened to you and we've gotten it out, what do you want to do?

Do you want them to stay? Do you want them to go? And I'm looking at them like, I'm a child. I just told you I was molested. Why would you ask me and consider keeping this person in the house? Why are you forcing me to make the decision in the call? Is it because. Yes. If someone asks you what happened, you can say, well, the reason he left is because Krystal wanted him to go.

Not because I was so now I'm pressured with, you don't even value my, my innocence, my sanctity, my. Well, being my balance, my mental state, I just told you I was depressed, suicidal, all these things and you think you had him apologizing was enough to get rid of all of that and for me to make that choice.

So, I made the choice and for once, I stood up for me and made him leave and as as years went, um, I, I was very introverted and my senior year, I was leaving for college and it was that in that moment. I remember him being invited back into the house. Because I was going to leave and he was coming back with my aunt with bringing my aunt with him.

And I'm like, they're going to just let him right on back in and raise the person that molested their daughter. And I, I just, I lost it. So I became an alcoholic, uh, in college. So throughout college, because this was the only way I could function. I could not think about this all day. It affected me intimately with other partners that I had.

So I couldn't enjoy. Sex at all whatsoever. I was almost embarrassed. So I had to in order to just enjoy that. I had to be intoxicated. And even today with my husband, we struggle with these things because I just tell him you have to be really patient. Like, like a quickie, that kind of stuff it's too fast for me.

[00:08:56] Rita Burke: I'm really touched and. appreciative that you would feel comfortable enough to share that very deep personal, dare I say, traumatic story with us. I really, really appreciate that. And I heard a lot of words that resonate with me as a woman, that you became depressed, you became sad, you felt guilty because Responsibilities were being thrown on you.

You had to make decisions that perhaps adults should make. So I'm touched by this story. Thanks for sharing that. Now somewhere I read that you believe that all moves have meaning. Elaborate on that statement for me please. Some moves or all moves have meaning. Elaborate on that for me please. 

[00:09:50] Krystal Clark: Certainly! So I believe that we come into life innocent and. We have to be molded into our purpose and for me to have not gone through what I. Been through, I would not know how to deal or become emotionally resilient in the workplace as a black female and a male dominated area. I would not understand or or be able to manage my emotions because of the disappointments that I've had.

Um, so I am grateful for. Even those terrible things that I, that I did have, it was steps that was moving me to be successful in a data career that I was, I was heading on this path. Um, I had to do quite a bit of grunt work and all of these things. And so for me to have done these things and for me to have gone through these things, it has instilled a certain level of.

Tenacity of determination of, you know, a fortitude that I cannot be broken as long as I know of my value, I can see my purpose and these moves make us move in different directions. And I could have used that and become resentful and bitter and went down a completely different path. So that's why these moves have meaning because they will in basically they will impose us and influence us to move in various directions to find that self fulfillment and you can do it for the better you do for the group for the worse.

[00:11:27] Elton Brown: I do agree with you on that because you could either be like the willow and bend or either be like the oak and break and you decided to go forward with the situations and I think one of the things that may have helped you was you is your faith and I read that it's a significant source of support for you during those tough times.

 Could you elaborate on your faith and how it played that role in the healing process? 

[00:11:59] Krystal Clark: Absolutely. So there was a particular point in my life where my faith wavered this was, um, so when I was an alcoholic, uh, right before I graduated college, my body stopped rejecting it. It was rejecting. It wouldn't take it in.

And so I either had to go to a different drug of choice, or I had to figure out. What to do with what the problems were with with me. Using that alcohol and at that moment, though, I didn't think that way. I thought God was giving up on me. Because I took it as not saying, okay, God saying alcohol isn't the answer, sweetheart, look for me, look for everything that I have given you.

I didn't take it that way. I looked at it as him abandoning me because that's all that has been happening to me. And so I thought, why would you do this? You've taken things so many things from me. So many people from me. And the alcohol was the 1 thing that was keeping me going and you take that and. I remember that was the day that I had made a decision to take my life after I had my wedding day and some people will say, well, why, why then, like, why marry somebody and then, you know, leave them as a widower.

I told my husband, I said, you had, you didn't have two months with me. I was gone, but my dad always talked about walking me down the aisle. So I said, I will give him that. After that, I'm, I'm done. I'm done. I can't take it anymore. I was breaking. Um, and what happened is on my wedding night, not planned.

I conceived my son, and I could not take my life and I knew then I'm going to put into my child and now my children, everything that was taken from me as a child and invest into them to let them know. That I am behind them 100 percent and they don't owe me a thing. And that's when I'm that's what I mean about that purpose, because all of those things that have happened to me, I can now give that to my children.

Because those things weren't given to me, and if I hadn't experienced that, I would not be able to breathe life in these children and raise them with the fortitude. From an emotional support system perspective. And that's where my faith came in because bless blessing, being blessed and being favored is not something for the weak.

And that is why my faith is, is, is, that's my testimony, that is the strength, you know, if you're being prepared. 

[00:14:46] Rita Burke: You broke the cycle. You broke the cycle that perhaps began with you. And you talked about your parents not having emotional intelligence. Those two things are just flying out to me. Let's shift a little bit, Krystal Clark, and talk about your podcast, talk about your podcast, whatever you want to share with our listeners about your podcast. 

[00:15:14] Krystal Clark: Certainly. So my podcast is moving with me in the podcast and it's so interesting. I was really looking at it to honestly speak about my personal experiences as a nod to my fantasy book. I am a fantasy author and my book is.

My life re, imagine throughout all these characters with all these plots that make moves that have meaning and they move in various different ways based on their past traumas and how they've interpreted that. And so I wanted to. Uh, basically promote that trauma in everyone's life and how people have used that for good and for the bad.

And I was using it to promote myself and from a career perspective, all of the things that happen in corporate corporate is a very sharky environment. Bosses will betray you. Um, you will work for less, even though you are qualified and overqualified, you will get, you will do all the work while someone else stands and gets the credit and you can't say a thing.

Nothing prepares you for the mental strain and the emotional turmoil that you go through with that. And having to walk in the next day with a smile on your face. And just all of that compounding on top of. The other the other things that have happened personally in my life, uh, the parenting different kids, you know, parenting 3, different 3 kids, different ways.

It's very stressful juggling that as a career woman who is who is not only very successful, but is in high demand. But I'm also high demand to my children. How do you choose which comes 1st? Because the job needs to pay for these things that I am putting my kids through and putting a roof on that over their head.

And so it what it does is it talks about all these various daily stressors that we go through that we do do not talk about because we're embarrassed. We feel that we're alone. We feel guilty. No 1 feels. More guilty than a parent having to tell their child. I'm too tired to take it to go outside and throw the ball with you.

Not that is so hard because it's so simple to do. But you have been dealing with so much so much has built up over time that you haven't given yourself the grace or the space. To, you know, recover from that exhaustion that's what the podcast is about.

[00:17:47] Rita Burke: I like the term that you use, and I will never forget it.

It will be tattooed in my heart forever. That cooperate is sharky. I heard somebody else say, many years ago through a book, that our world Is a jungle. And so when our children go out into the school and into the world when they come home, us adults, if we're truly caring adults, we will have a buffer.

We will be the buffers for them and the world. And I think that's what you're telling me. Mm-Hmm. . and could you imagine if, if, if the world is sharky for grownups? 

[00:18:30] Krystal Clark: Yeah. , 

[00:18:32] Rita Burke: What is it like for our children? I just wanted to make that statement before Elton spoke to you. Thank you. 

[00:18:40] Elton Brown: I want to go back to the podcast for a little bit and my question is, how many women versus men are part of your podcast?

[00:18:53] Krystal Clark: Very good. So I am on I'm a solo. As far as the podcast is, it's just mine. I don't have a partner, but as far as guests are concerned in my 1st season, uh, there were more men coming forward. Then there were women, uh, in my 2nd season, there are more women now coming for then then men. So I think in my 1st season, it was about 90 percent male guests, 10 percent female.

And in the 2nd season, it's about sixth forty . 

[00:19:28] Elton Brown: So what routines do you use to help these individuals heal? 

[00:19:35] Krystal Clark: So what I do in, in my episodes, I actually do well, what I do with my guests, I have a meet and greet. And so I get them to tell their story. And through their story, I am inspired by a particular word. It could be vulnerability.

It could be esoteric enigma. Um, fortuitousness, fortitude, affection, aggression, anything it will be something that stands out to me. And so when I introduce and set the theme of that episode, I give it meaning. 1st of what you are about to come into with, and it is dedicated to that guests and their journey and their struggles and what they have come out with it.

They go through it. Um, and then I kind of, of course. We have a light conversation, we interact and we laugh because I'm actually as much as I am an introvert. I'm a very gregarious individual. I'm very funny and light hearted and it makes for a very. Comforting conversation, and and when I leave off, I leave off with have has any of you ever felt this way?

Have you felt alone? Have you you felt that this or that? I'm here to tell you, you're not and what I, what I'm also here to tell you is that we have a community for you. And part of that is creating that Facebook page and these various media outlets for us to connect and grow and create these various communities to help serve each other. In those particular capacities, whichever way that it meets them.

[00:21:20] Rita Burke: Now, today we're speaking with Krystal Clark, who is joining SpeakUP! International from Texas. Now, as you know, on SpeakUP! International, we seek to inform, inspire, and educate and Krystal 's story, I guarantee, will do that for all of us today.

Now, Miss Krystal Clark, you are also a blogger. Is there a theme to what you blog about?

[00:21:51] Krystal Clark: Yeah, it's really honestly, uh, creativity. It really is the imagination and utilizing the backbone of your experience and how you reimagine that and apply that as tools to how you deal with. Daily life, or how you apply it to your entrepreneur ventures or to family activities or anything that deals in mental fatigue.

It should be a place of relaxation and relief. But it is again, something it's always a lesson in it. So it's always a story with a lesson and that's pretty much what it's geared to. It's it's. The inspirations of a fantasy author and if I can't tell you if I can't show you how every part of my life. Is inspiring me to draw up another concept, create a different imagination, a plot twist or what have you.

I'm not doing my job. So I definitely, it goes to looking at finding inspiration in the heart stuff. It finds inspiration and laughter in these moments where we are mentally fatigued, but we can come back and find. the humor in it. 

[00:23:15] Elton Brown: I was going to ask you something about that, uh, between the emotional part of it and then mental health. I'm sure that a lot of these individuals that you talk to, you know, they're, some of them probably have held onto this for years, and then they reach a point where, okay, I've got to talk to somebody about it. In fact, I don't care who it is. I just need to, you know, say this out loud so that I don't lose my mind.

So how do you put a cap on, on these individuals? Where do you say, okay, I think you need to get additional help. You need to find a A counselor, or you need to find a group when how do you determine when you do that?

[00:24:03] Krystal Clark: So, with a lot of my guests, they have already went through the journey and they've already found enlightenment.

So, they actually come on sharing their story and their background, and then they show how they've moved into. Their own life coaching, how they've moved into, uh, being an advocate or spreading awareness through their nonprofit. So honestly, my guests come with their story and with the message and with a place to basically come to present other listeners who haven't come forward yet as a place to go.

It's, it's interesting because yeah, it would be great to have. A guest who just wants to come in and talk about stuff and say, Krystal , what would you what would you what would be your advice to me? That has not happened yet, because I think folks are still they're scared. They are very scared to come forward because this is as much as we've been talking about mental health.

It's still new. It's still new. This isn't the 1st time I remember in the 80s. If you remember the cassette tapes with the music that you listen to, and the affirmations you hear of this lady saying, you're great. But that was that was at that time. That's what. They were doing for mental health. It just wasn't working, but now there's meditation.

There's there's so many things out there now that I find that I'm presenting people with that information so that when they do come on to the show there, if anything, they already have the resources and they can come in with Thank you. This this is something for, for, um, for me. I appreciate that. But these individuals and guests, they, I keep their resources on deck, their connections for life, and I will put them in contact with them.

Should I feel the conversation is leading in that particular way. So I have literally like a Rolodex of individuals that I keep at hand for that 

[00:26:13] Rita Burke: in response to Eldon's question. You said people are scared. I want to hear a little bit more about that scariness, what they're scared of, and how they manifest that.

Talk to us a little bit more about the people you describe as being scared. 

[00:26:30] Krystal Clark: Yeah, sure, sure. So, for example, some people are afraid of being judged. Like I said, for example, when we go out into the world, for example, for me. With the moment that I had put out episode of me, it was a solo episode of me just discussing about suicide and I had so many people reaching out to me in my personal circle saying, and you don't, I'm shocked you're so light hearted.

You, you, like, I had no idea you were the 1st person out of our friend group. I knew was going to have this family. You were going to do all this. I had no idea that you were like. That you couldn't see past 26. I had no clue. So a lot of people are putting on a mask every day. And you will be amazed at how many people think about suicide constantly.

Teens, single moms, first responders, a lot of them really do. But they're in these. Huge capacity roles where they cannot be weak for a moment because they're so they're like Atlas. So, I'm scared that if I come forward, what is that perception going to do for these other people that count on me? That's 1 aspect.

Uh, the 2nd aspect is people. A lot of people are we are living in the millennials. We just weren't emotionally. We're an emotionally withdrawn generation. So, we have no idea how to express these emotions and the moment that we cry, the 1st thing that we think. We're weak. We are weak. And it's like, I'm not weak.

So I will not cry. I will not release these emotions. I'm going to just tuck them on in. And then next thing you know, they're exploding out of you at at the child for doing something. And they're looking like I just Ask for a spoon, you know, or whatever. And they have no way of doing that. So there's always these points of tension because it's about perception.

It's it's about responsibility. And I think that is the true source of this fear. 

[00:28:35] Elton Brown: You know, we have major problem in the states. And that's mass shooting. And I'm listening to you tell your story. And how you're coping with it and then how you have your podcasts in order to help individuals cope with their, their trauma. Do you think that a lot of these people who kill 15, 20 people with illegal weapons, do you ever think that maybe they have some type of healing that they should have gone through?

And maybe just maybe they would not have gone out and as you put it exploded with a gun. 

[00:29:18] Krystal Clark: I think so. I think it's about. I'm a little mixed on that just because one it's the access to those weapons that they have. So, part of that is regulating that, that access, the 2nd part is. How attentive are the parents with their child?

Are they recognizing that their child is possibly going through things? And are they having these conversations in the home? Because that's where it starts. Uh, the third part is, this is so interesting, but I feel that there are certain people who have lived life and have been raised with an ideal mindset that they are entitled, that they are better than others and so on.

And then when something comes out that shows them, that's not true. Someone beat them at a race. Someone beat them in a test academically. And so now my parents told me that I've been better than these other people around me and I'm going to school and I'm going into areas. I'm seeing I'm not getting the girl.

I'm not getting the guy. I'm not doing all these things. They don't know how to process and deal with the reality that they're just like everyone else because they've been Almost indoctrinated with this belief system. So how do they manage that mindset and that shift and that change in into really entering the world of reality?

And I, I think that's, that's really, I think, to me, that is the true core of it, is how, what are we telling our children? That is the biggest key. 

[00:30:50] Rita Burke: Well, I like that. I like that. What are we telling our children? So, Miss Krystal Clark, what should we tell our children? 

[00:30:59] Krystal Clark: Good. Is that, I, I think we should tell our children that we are one race.

We are one people. We are different. We should celebrate our differences. We should not shame anyone for being different and you should treat people exactly how you want to be treated when you see. And that's just 1 of the things that I tell my children, you see someone being picked on it is an incredibly powering, empowering position to be the 1 to stand up and say, hey, chill out because you can influence that entire environment around you and you'll see other people stand up and say.

Back off. He's right. She's right. Leave him alone. And so train your Children to be ambassadors and stand up for the right thing and for the fair thing. And I think we're seeing that a little bit more each day and every day as the cameras are coming out and seeing that the proof of the unfair treatment.

Is there that's helping the message get that get clear because you're seeing children fight against their parents who believe one way and the children are like, it's not that way. So, sometimes we have to rely on social media podcasts and other avenues to educate the children over the parents. Sometimes.

[00:32:21] Elton Brown: My concern, I don't know if that's the right word, but I, I'm gone back to. What you had to go through all those years being molested. And the one thing that stuck out was me hearing you say, I'm going to make sure that my kids don't have to go through these things. How are you keeping Your kids from not having to go through their through those things.

I mean, there's so much, you know, they get so much information every day. I mean, it's probably like every day. It's an overload for them because and there's no way you can stop the overload from happening because they have their phones. They've got their own computers. So how are you guarding your kids so that they don't find themselves in a situation where they are molested?

[00:33:13] Krystal Clark: So, I don't I don't want to say I guard my kids. Uh, my kids know that I've been molested and I speak very candidly about that with them. And I did it at an early age with them as well, because what I wanted to let them know is. one, this could be anybody this could be someone that is just familiar. It could be a stranger, it could be a family member.

It doesn't matter and you need to be careful with that. I take stranger danger to a whole nother level. I say, you know, strangers use other children to lure children to the car. I said, so if you're outside and you're with a friend and the friend says, Hey, I'm going to this car real quick. Why don't you come with me?

If you don't know who is in that car, you don't go. And what's interesting is my daughter. I told my daughter that and she said, mom, you know what that happened and I'm glad that you told me that to me. She was in maybe 3rd grade 2nd grade. She's little. She said, my friend said, oh, you can come. It's okay. I know them.

She said, no, I don't. So you go, I'll stand back here and wait. So that is how I protect my children is by making them. Or increasing their awareness of the surroundings and of the threat. Painting this picture of a beautiful world and it's bound with opportunity and all of this other stuff. That's it's not true.

It's not true. You could still have all those opportunities, but I am not going to always be there. I'm not going to always be with you, so I need to prepare you to do and go through these things as you're out there so that you are educated that these are the proper ways to act. And these are improper ways to act.

They were going to I said, because people are going to tell you things. Before I have even told you this, and I remember in 6th grade, I was like, okay, I think we need to have the talk, you know, and she was like, about what? And I said, well, uh, sex and she goes, oh, well, I already know what that is. She's 6th grade.

And I said. No, no, no. I'm going to say exactly though, like exactly what happens between a man and woman. She goes, no, I'm telling you, I know, I know, uh, okay, when, how, well, you tell me what it is. She told me specifically what it was. I said, how, who, when, where? You didn't tell me. Oh my God. She's like, well, It was in 2nd grade, some girl went around telling everybody what it was.

I said, well, why you ain't tell me they didn't freak you out or anything. She was like, no, I just, it just wasn't a big part of my day. I just knew that that after that. So there are things that we, as parents are afraid to tell our children. Because we think our children aren't ready for it, but they actually are because they haven't been.

We are not as I did. We're not going to be the ones to expose it to them 1st, but we are the ones that are going to. Explain it correctly and appropriately to them 

[00:36:09] Rita Burke: And we are the ones who will have to deal with the consequences. 

[00:36:12] Krystal Clark: Correct! Absolutely! 

[00:36:13] Rita Burke: So what I'm hearing from you, miss Krystal Clark is that children are educating children. 

[00:36:22] Krystal Clark: Yes.!

[00:36:22] Rita Burke: Parents need to be on top of that so that they would offer the correct information, the important information, the critical information. 

[00:36:33] Krystal Clark: Yes. 

[00:36:34] Rita Burke: So I have a question for you, and that question is, Who or what would you say is responsible for The person walking in the skin walking in the shoes of Krystal Clark who or what is responsible for that?

I am I am responsible for that. Obviously my my Savior my Lord and Savior first and foremost, but Ultimately, it is me. It is me to pass on my gifts and what I've been gifted with Because if I don't, I will lose it. So I, I truly believe that whatever I heal, I had to climb. I had to climb and it's not about the crest.

It truly is about that climb. It is about that journey getting to where you want to be. It's not at the top. It's not the success because what gave you that success is. Those trials, it is the tough times. It is all of those things all balled up into 1 and you're the 1 that's going to make the walk and you're the one that's going to reap the rewards of that.

[00:37:40] Elton Brown: Tell us about the woman in leadership advisory member you are. 

[00:37:47] Krystal Clark: Yes, yes! So this is an invite only. I'm so excited about this. So this is an invite only. Um, program at Houston Christian University, who is basically they launched a women in leadership program. So it's mentor based as well. It's. Essentially targeting to mentor, advise and prepare young women who are coming out of college for what they should be expecting and prepare them in the, in the corporate arena.

We come out starry eyed with high ambitions and high hopes. And we don't realize until we get in there that, yeah, this is definitely not, you know, I, you know, it, nothing, like I said, prepares you for that. So part of the women in leadership program is to really give them the nitty gritty. You are going into a place where.

You're going to be undermined, you're going to be overlooked and all of these things are going to happen and you cannot let that. Dissuade you from continuing on your particular path, or at least, if anything, holding yourself in the value that you feel you need. You need to embrace that. Learn from that and continue to move forward and put those tools in your tool bag.

So it's about that, but it's also about also inviting other experts. Or women in the corporate arena who are dealing with that, who didn't have that there's a lot of women in the workforce. That are struggling and that need to be coached because they never got the pep talk. They never got the reality check and so they end up burning out.

They end up having to take long sabbaticals just to just like, for 6 months, I need to take a break from these people to come back to to gather myself to come back and function. So, the program is really geared to support when you do become a lead a leadership. Don't be. A mirror of the folks that came before you, who didn't do you, right? 

Be a leader and discern the new routes that you take, right? Embrace and empower and be a leader, not a boss lead and guide the others. When you become in a position that you've had to fight for, make that change, be that change. 

[00:40:12] Rita Burke: I like that. I, I wish that I had considered that or something like that was available when I was in the corporate world.

[00:40:25] Krystal Clark: I did too. I was like, wow, finally. 

[00:40:30] Rita Burke: So, Krystal , what would you say is the best piece of advice that you've ever been given? 

[00:40:35] Krystal Clark: So, I am actually dubbing my memoir after this. I'm getting ready to, uh, go into the editing phases with this. But it was the lessons I learned in, in the career, uh, in my corporate career in consult, in the consulting firm, and how I actually apply these to my personal life lessons and life coaching sessions.

But I had a boss. And I was just, I was on a particular project and it was like, it was heavy. It was a heavy project and it was all on me. I was leading like, 50 plus people across all these disciplines and having to manage the client's expectations that were really high. And he noticed that I was really stressed and I was kind of aggressive in my conversation with them.

And he said, listen, um, I want to take you to the side for a 2nd, and I said, okay, everything. Okay. So, yeah, it's fine. He said, perception is reality. I said, I looked at him. I said, what would you tell him? You know, he said, what the way that you act speak to others in front of others. They're going to perceive that.

As who you are as reality. I know your work. You don't need to prove to anybody else how hard you're working and all of these other things that are going on already. No, and I have your back for that. But in front of them, make sure that you are putting out the best version of yourself, you know, be positive because that is a reflection of what they will look like of your team.

It is a reflection of you. And so I really. Took that to heart so that and I'm thinking to myself, wow, this should have been like, at the forefront of my mind, because I fooled a whole lot of people for forever thinking I wasn't depressed. I'm a happy go lucky person. And I get here in this career and I completely forgot about all that.

So that was the biggest thing is that how you want people to see you and perceive you that will be there. That will be how they look at you and see you. So make sure however, the chances that you get. To be in front of anyone to speak to anyone, make sure it's the best version of yourself because that will be their reality of you.

Whether it is or isn't 

[00:43:02] Elton Brown: I love your. I'm going to call it mantra lack of a better word. Thank you. I've never been a type I've always been a frequency. You've got to tune in to really feel me. I thought that was dead, dead, dead on. Thank you. Explain what that means to 

[00:43:28] Krystal Clark: you. So the way I look at it as I'm not putting on a show because it's too much of an effort to not to be someone I'm not.

It's too much work and who I am is. Who I am you it either fits in with your piece, or it does not it either adds value to you, or it does not. I'm not going to constantly shift and shape myself. To fit every individual that I come across. So, and neither should anyone else. Um, so there is, as I say, that by that vibration, that frequency level, we should be on that same level.

To understand each other grow and learn from each other and provide that same level of feedback and growth. Without feeling threatened in that space. So, that's what that I think that was that's what that really truly means to me is being who you are is enough. And aligning yourself to individuals of like, mind and like frequencies.

[00:44:49] Rita Burke: I would love to continue this conversation with you because you have been inspiring and enlightening and teaching me and appealing to my level of emotional intelligence. Thank you. You're speaking, you're speaking to my heart, you're speaking to my soul. And so is there anything that we did not ask you that you'd like to share with our listeners?

[00:45:21] Krystal Clark: No, I honestly, I almost want to say no, I don't, I don't think so. But if I could leave off with, with anything is that we are all Being molded. We're all being made. I don't really truly believe in the word. I was built for this Because we come into this world very innocent and when we have a set purpose that is aligned to us We are all being prepared to enjoy that and to endure that.

And so we are always being made and molded to be a protective shield to others that we are to be to be a protective shield and a gift to others. Um, for those who are waiting for that. So, I, I really truly believe that it's, it's almost like metal as a blacksmith. To change it, it's raw, it's rough, it has to go under extreme temperatures, and then it has to be beaten, and shaped, and molded to something that is protective, to defend you, to help you.

So think of your life that way every time that you're going through something. You're being molded and prepared for something great. It's the only thing I got. 

[00:46:44] Elton Brown: I think that is a very positive way of looking at whatever trials and tribulations that you go through. It's always look at the end of the road or at the end, the light at the end of the tunnel.

I think it's very, very important that we do look at it this way. And I think 1 of your. Sayings that I found was life is a journey of self discovery and sometimes we tell them to to shield ourselves from Or conform. And I think we all need to hold on tight to that. We don't know where life is going to take us, but we definitely have to be prepared for the ride as it were.

So what we learned so much from you, we learned about the fact that there are men and women who are suffering from these Trials and tribulations that they are going through and their emotional and mental health is at stake and your podcast helps them bridge that gap so that they don't fall or slip through the net as it were.

And no longer are able to function as, as, as humans. And I think that was one of the most important things. Another thing you talked about was the fact that how your faith was, uh, was a big factor in helping you stay afloat. And not go under the sea of despair. I thought that was extremely important and something for our listeners to remember.

And also writing, and journaling, and vocalizing through your podcast. These are essential ways to examine the feelings of your listeners. I want to thank you so much for this time to have a conversation with you, and I'm hoping that we have an opportunity to do this again. Um, it has thoroughly been informative and appreciate. 

[00:49:10] Krystal Clark: it.

Thank you. I appreciate you guys for having me on. Rita and Ellington that is, it was is a pleasure is a pleasure. I love the questions. This is the 1st time I've been asked my thoughts and and all of these from a cultural perspective from the social aspects of the world that we deal in today. And I think it definitely added more meaning to my message.

So, thank you for that.

[00:49:38] Elton Brown: Thank you for listening to Speak Up! International! If you wish to contact Ms. Krystal Clark, please submit your name, your email address, and the reason why you wish to contact Ms. Clark to info at speakuppodcast. ca. Are you interested in the opportunity to be interviewed and have your cause promoted by SpeakUP! International? We invite you to connect to us by sending a message that includes your name, company or organization name, the valuable service you offer to your community, and your email address to info@speakupppodcast.ca. 

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